Review: Orca: The Killer Whale

Orca: The Killer Whale
Orca: The Killer Whale

With the success of the movie “Jaws,” it was only a matter of time before some Hollywood big-shot executive said “Well, what is even more dangerous than a shark?” and unfortunately, someone mentioned orcas.

Orcas fucking suck. Literally, orcas are hailed as having an intelligence supreme to humans and yet, they’re allowed to murder people at Sea World with not even a stiff beating or whipping. I would probably buy a ticket to Sea World on that day (orca punishment day) but I wouldn’t stay very long.

Anyway, some how this movie got made.

Out of the gate, whoever made the movie has a noisy logo screen and I don’t like it. The opening title sequence features white text on black background and orcas making an awful noise. Then we see a few of the beasts messing around in the water with their boring lives. These two are mates. The whales jump out of the water, as a sound effect of a fishing lure hitting the water plays and obviously doesn’t match up.

Some guy is doing stuff and a shark swims up. Get this, the guy slides between two rocks and tries holding a rock over the small opening but drops it – and the shark turns its head. It hears the rock hitting the ground, in the water, and turns its head… but a boat scares him off. Antics ensue and the man, who screams “hard to port” shoots, misses wildly. The man attempts to start the boat like he’s never done it before.
The sound effects of the whales blow holes sounds stupid, like someone is blowing water through a PVC pipe into a cheap microphone. At this point, I fell asleep and don’t intend to ever watch the rest of this movie.

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