Review: Star Trek: TNG – The Emissary

Star Trek The Next Generation
Star Trek The Next Generation

It’s implied that Worf has a larger penis than anyone in the room during a poker game. Pulaski calls him “handsome” as this gets the old thing wet. Picard calls them to their posts because this is a starship, not a cruise ship.

Ugly, weird Admiral uniform
Ugly, weird Admiral uniform

An Admiral wears a uniform not seen before or since. She won’t tell Captain Picard what his entire ship will be doing. A dude gets stuck in a probe and is launched at the Enterprise at warp! That would be scarier than being in the space shuttle. They open it up and it’s the Klingon lady Ka’Lar that Worf knows. Riker greets her in Klingon, looking to get laid before this 60 minutes is up. Worf makes things awkward for everyone.

We learn that a Klingon cruiser has been cryogenically frozen from times when they hated humans. Picard orders Worf to work with Ka’Lar. Troi and Ka’Lar chat. Both did or will have sexuals with Worf.

Worf and his honey act weird to each other. Worf dubs his lines. You can tell a lot of domestic violence probably occurs in Klingon families. Ka’Lar goes onto the holodeck and puts on a Nintendo Power Glove. She impresses Worf with her Klingon ways and he puts his ridged penis up her, off screen.

She brags on the sex after a commercial break. Both are still in uniform so it must have been quick. But when Worf wants to marry her, she throws a fit and leaves the holodeck.

We’ve also not seen Wesley Crusher once this episode. Love that.

Worf asks Data to come along to make things less awkward during his work with Ka’Lar. He observes like an innocent child. The scene is nicely bridged with the next. Her explanation/plan is started on one and finished on another.

Geordi transfers “engineering to the bridge” because his job doesn’t really require him to fix things more than it does to press buttons. After a full episode under orders to, no one came up with any decent plan. Worf instantly comes up with the solution. Picard talks about the option in his log without revealing it to the audience (and drawing the ire of any admiral that hears his log and prefers the captain get to the point). We get my least favorite shot of the series.

This ugly ass shot.
This ugly ass shot.

Worf does some good work for once. In the transporter room, Worf presses what I can only assume is the same button over and over while looking down, because he’s just making noise and transporting never takes this long. They hold hands once more but he doesn’t make her bleed this time. Michael Dorn strains to pull off a tender moment, but the show wraps regardless of if you bought it.


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