Review: WWF on The Weakest Link – How Stupid Can You Be?

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I don’t want to go through every moment of this so were hitting highlights – but as I correct this paragraph at the end, weeks later, there were a lot of highlights.

William Regal begins with a correct answer. When asked what Spin City star appeared in Major League, Hunter thinks it’s “Michael J. Fox.” Yes I can remember when Willie Mays was talking to Marty McFly in the locker room. Spin City has been off the air for who knows how long, over a decade for sure, and I instantly knew it was Charlie Sheen.

Stephanie McMahon is next and she gets a tough question. What brand of pain relieve ointment used the phrase “turn up the heat.” She oddly answers Aspercreme, a good guess, but wrong. They were more famous for using the slogan, “you bet your sweet ass-percreme.” Think I’m bullshitting? Look at it. 

Lita gets an easy one and nails it (talking about questions for once). Same with Kurt. Little bit of irony, or maybe deliberacy, with this question thrown to Trish, “What part of the body is reconstructed during a rhinoplasty?” She humbly, but without hesitation, answers, “The nose.” because, of course, she was still being belittled at this point in her career. Wonder by who? Probably not the daughter of the owner or her real-life husband, next to her in the lineup but whom is off TV at this point. He is also clearly injecting steroids directly into his biceps.

If this guy passes your wellness test, it sucks.
If this guy passes your wellness test, it sucks.

Booker T banks, before being asked to finish this phrase from the character Flo on the TV show Alice: “Kiss my…” what? Booker T answers “butt.” Good thing he banked.

Big Show knows the United Nations is in NYC, which is somewhat impressive. Regal then nails a curve ball about how many women have walked on the moon – none of course. If a woman walked on the moon, she might start perioding up inside her instead of down and out. No one knows what might happen.

Triple H is desperate after missing the last question, but he gets an easy one about nonstick cooking spray – and gets it. Pam. Lame ass easy. Stephanie shouts “bank” in the middle of Anne saying her name. She is clearly nervous and appears to exhale 3 gallons of breathed air. Anne, clearly, asks “What is the two letter postal abbreviation for the state of Oklahoma?” Stephanie, feigning being anal (a different type, for once) says “I’m sorry, can you repeat the question?” Anne asks it again, just as clearly. Stephanie looks up and to the left, bewildered about what a character that mocked JR from WCW is doing with his own postal abbreviation. Stephanie responds, after several long seconds, “Ok.” As if to say “Thanks for reading the question twice.” But of course, to anyone of us that got past 4th grade social studies, we knew this. The answer is correct and Stephanie, almost exhilarated, looks back off to the left. My guess is that Linda is to the left. Stephanie makes a mental note to ask what an Oklahoma is later.

Lita, who appears miserable, gets a question about billiards. Kurt shouts bank immediately. Anne then says his name and he has to say it again. Kurt gets a Mickey Mouse question, literally. I want to point out that this is the correct usage of that word. STOP USING IT TO SAY YOUR HEAD IS LITERALLY SPLITTING OPEN BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE DEAD. Oh, Kurt gets his question right and smiles. Happy about Minnie Mouse.

Trish gets her question right, about baseball. Then, Booker T gets asked what holiday in October celebrates the discovery of America. You can hear several others laugh or whisper into their microphones and Booker nervously smiles. Instead of instantly missing the question, he asks her to repeat the question. This tactic burns additional time and annoys the host, who is reading the questions just fine. But immediately, it comes to him! Of course! Interrupting Anne at her second reading of “October federal holiday,” Booker T says “Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving.” Anne informs him of Columbus Day and the audience busts out laughing. Booker does this.

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Onto Big Show, who is smirking. Only for a moment, though, as he is stumped as to what show’s theme song is “A horse is a horse of course of course.” He recalls that as the theme song to “Captain Kangaroo.” The animal in the shows title might have been the giveaway but at least he didn’t ask for the question to be repeated. Anne says “Mr Ed” and he apologizes. The audience laughs. Regal nails an easy one. Hunter is asked a question a Scottish dish of sheep guts glorified in a poem by someone. Haggis was the answer but he lets time expire without answering.

Anne usually does some lame jokes here but she makes me slap myself unconscious with a line about WWF standing for “Without Wisdom Forever.” I wish Angle would suplex her.

We are reminded that Booker missed every question. Anne is rude to Booker, which Apple just corrected to boner. She would also be rude to that, most likely – for she is a likely homosexual, as Rorshach might say. She embarrasses herself by saying she’s never heard of Vince McMahon. Big Show gets voted off – although Hunter correctly voted for Booker as the weakest link and was the only one who did so. He will pin him at Mania in Seattle two years later. An unprecedented win for a heel (the only heel to leave WM the champion before that was…oh. HHH.)

Our next round begins with two lucky correct answers (Hunter got very lucky, guessing Milk Bones, probably due to the jokes by Lawler for Milk Bone Underwear). Now, Stephanie decides she will bank the measly $2,500 – odd strategy that actually pays off). She faces the tough question of what fast food chain used the slogan, “You deserve a break today?” With a look of confidence, she instantly replies, “Kit-Kat.” Ah yes, the many times I’ve been driving around, gotten hungry, and pulled into the drive-through of a Kit-Kat.

The correct answer, as you would expect someone with a name beginning with Mc to know, is McDonalds. Stephanie winces as this is revealed. Now, Lita has looked stoic and sad this entire show. Suddenly, following Stephanie’s answer of a candy bar for a fast food chain:

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She is asked about a movie star I’ve never heard of playing the mother of a possessed girl – and required to name the movie. She guesses “C. or it sounds like it. Strangely, a few more letters and she would have psychically guessed the next answer, “E” for Kurt, who correctly guessed the fifth letter of the English alphabet.

Trish gets world geography next. What is the Capitol of Japan? I immediately thought Tokyo – with Kyoto popping in my mind too, perhaps because of it being an anagram to Tokyo and me just noticing that. Neither of these options jumped out to Trish Stratus, though.

Likely angering many Asians in the process, she answers, “Hong Kong.” Yes, I’ve always wanted to go to Hong Kong, Japan. Of course, Hong Kong is actually an island that is part of the People’s Republic of China.

Booker T is next. Sure enough, he makes me write about his answer in detail. “What French word meaning ‘again’ is often shouted at the end of a concert?” He answers, “We we.” to the delight of the audience, but probably not the charity he is playing for.

William Regal isn’t laughing. He’s not missed a question yet. And he is asked a tough one for mid-2001, in my opinion. “What person’s locker in the sea…”bla bla and it’s Davy Jones. Triple H pauses, but remembers it’s the fighting “Irish” of Notre Dame. Stephanie banks again. This time, she gets lucky and, quite unsure, guesses the person who “sits on her tuffet eating curds and way” as “Ms. Muffett?”

Lita correctly guesses Hulk Hogan as Thunderlips, proving that these questions are not random just incase you still thought they were. Then, Kurt Angle slams a little 2nd grade math, diving 30 by 2 as 15. Trish gets it right. Booker banks. And correctly answers his easy question about snakes. William however, misses the last question about JC Penney (he’s from the UK, so that would be like me knowing about some of their Doctor Who-ass stores). He says “I don’t know” and she doesn’t move on! Unfair.

Voting begins again. Hilariously, Hunter votes for Booker T again. Trish was the weakest but Book is gone.

Some money gets built up before Hunter blows it, given a 50/50 choice. He thought F Murray Abraham was a writer. Lita gets a real hardball – what first name is shared by the 41st and 43rd US Presidents (at the time – the current). She guesses James.

Yes, James W. Bush really was a polarizing pres…wait. That’s right. It’s not James. It’s George.

Triple H then lets $5,000 fly without banking it with only 1 second left. Lita is high and apparently thinks George W. Bush was the guy on the 1 dollar bill. But Kurt is gone.

The round begins with William Regal guessing Mexico as a US State. Triple H guesses that the highest Justice (not like Lita) in the Supreme Court is called…the Supreme Justice. Then Stephanie guesses the reality show featuring bizarre people hosted by Dean Cain is…Survivor. Hopefully, the Red Cross doesn’t need much money at this point.

A surprising streak gets going, including Hunter getting one right! Then, Trish is asked what Richard Nixon said in the speech, “I am not a…” and we see this…

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“I’m from Canada – I don’t know.” and fortunately for her, the audience and even Anne bust out laughing. She gets a pass for this moment. But her team votes her off anyway.

In the next round, Stephanie funny enough gets an XFL question. She asks for a repeat but gets it right. Lita bites the dirt a few times but really kills a big streak by guessing the band responsible for “Workin for the Weekend” was “Rick Springfield.” Who’s in that band? Cells and particles. Lita leaves after a vote.

We begin with William guessing that natives of arctic North America are “Klondikes” which may be offensive to Anne, if she heard the last part. He really begins to miss everything and guesses an Indian word for “tent” is Wigwam. What a shocker – Hunter and Stephanie are the last two!

Hunter guesses that “muskat, muskadeen and concord” are versions of a black berry. Only $48,500 is being played for. By comparison, I’ve hosted a local telethon that raised over $56,000 for a charity.

Stephanie and Hunter begin an impressive show down but Stephanie gets the third question wrong, thinking “George Bush Senior” was President in 1986. Stephanie doesn’t know what Simon and Schuster. Triple H wins.

“Join us next time on the Weakest Link.” No thanks. It took me weeks to get through this.

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