Who the fuck would want to play Dead Nation?

DeadNation-540x332

This game is boring and sucks. You can’t even see the characters – and that’s when I’m sitting 3  feet from a 55 inch LED TV that is giving me a tan from being so bright. The default weapon, a “rifle” that is single fire and weaker than a nerf gun, is more like a shitty pistol. Oh don’t worry though – you can HOLD DOWN to charge up a shot. Yeah, I remember when I was hunting once and held down the trigger to charge up a shot before firing at the elk…wait, that’s right – GUNS DON’T DO THAT.

The level design is dark and dank. Too dark. It usually runs about like this: Dark, open area that you can’t really see that well, based on shit camera angles. A few cars, maybe a bus, scrambled around. All of them have trunks with money you can use to buy upgrades at the stupid, unrealistic shit vendors placed throughout the stage in checkpoints (real life isn’t this safe).

Here's a generic shot of the in-game action on Dead Nation
Here’s a generic shot of the in-game action on Dead Nation

Eight thousand zombies will run at you at once, like Justin Beiber fans (but smarter). Luckily, you have terrible weapons and have to use the JOYSTICK to aim, then pull R1! I changed this to R2, which also sucked because I couldn’t hold the aim steady with my giant hands. Fucking Sony designs these systems for little Jap hands and here I am, looking like Kong trying to play it. But anyway, on top of horrid controls, you can’t see anything! I turned up the brightness on the above shot so you could see what I mean:

I was playing as Jack McReady here.
I was playing as Jack McReady here.

This shitty fucking mess of a game was first introduced as a free game for PS Plus in like 2011, who cares I’m not verifying that so if it’s wrong get off of it. That was for the PS3. I hated it then but after getting a PS4, Sony decides it will be the free game of the month for PS4 – and it is NOT DIFFERENT. I’m telling you, this game sucks as much dick today as it did when it was released and it really pisses me off that I’m wasting a PS Plus membership to download garbage like this. This game, Contrast, Resogun, fucking Don’t Starve – that’s all shit I don’t want to play! That’s BORING ASS VIDEO GAME TRASH.

I want actual games.

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3 thoughts on “Who the fuck would want to play Dead Nation?”

  1. Lol most useless rant ever, so the controller is
    Too small for your hands? The ps4 controller is larger than the xbox ones’ so good luck finding one that works for you.. Or,, just a shot in the dark.. You suck.

    Like

    1. Or, just a shot in the dark, the game sucks and I would never devote the time necessary to become good at it (5 seconds) because it’s pure shit, like you. Hey, by the way, did it hurt your feelings that I ranted on the game? Must have. You probably have talked about how great the game is, with your low-ass standards, to the extent that you felt personally insulted by my shitting all over this fucking pointless game.

      You realize games are supposed to be fun, right? I mean, if you find this shit fun, go outside and make mud pies – you’re 5.

      I’m going to take a wild guess that when you buy gloves, you don’t get 2XL or larger. I do, my friend. I have very large hands and play with a KontrolFreak on, but that aside, tell me this:

      Does it make any sense for someone who wears XS gloves (you) to be playing with the same sized controller as someone wearing XXL gloves (me and my cock)? Of course not. Thanks for commenting!!

      Like

      1. Hehe, not really, happened to pass by your rant through google. Always enjoy to see what kind of stories people like you come up with to talk games or people who disagree with them down. One thing i didn’t quite understand, why would you ranting on a game hurt my feelings? You either like it or you don’t, not much i can do about that nor do i have the desire to do so. Not really my concern what you do or don’t like.

        Yes i do realize games should be fun, but i also realize opinions differ, and not a single rant in the world is gonna change that. Being angry about a game isn’t gonna make your experience any better, even though i get it can relieve the mind of some stress. But that’s just it, getting angry and including some pictures that aren’t even of the actual game doesn’t make it more believable.. It just makes you look less serious.

        But hey.. I’m also not here on a serious note, just fcking with you to pass a moment of boredom.. So i’ll let that one slide lol.

        Right, about the hand(and cock i suppose) size.. Putting aside the fact it’s pretty remarkable that you seem to think you know the size of my hands without knowing me.. Yes, i can understand it can be quite annoying if your hands are simply too large too handle the controller with ease, a controller obviously should be comfortable for everyone. So there, see.. I’m not completely disagreeing with you. ;p

        Like

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