Review: The Day After

220px-Thedayafter

The subject of armageddon, the end times, rapture or eschatology are always a true interest to me. The Day After is an 80s look at what nuclear war could, at any day (including today), do to society – fuck it up bad. But this movie is more than that. A lot of people say it is what helped to bring an end to the arms race. 100 million people watched it on ABC, making it the most watched movie on television. And even Mr. Rogers had to get on TV and calm kids down. Probably the stupid ones. I hope you’ll watch this movie and consider the implications of allowing nuclear proliferation (including by allowing Iran to become nuclear). Here is my fair review of it.

For the first 20 minutes of the movie, I sat hating the movie and the characters. NOTHING was happening. It was boring my dick off. All of a sudden, the signals of awesomeness showed through. The Warsaw Pact (the Soviet equivalent to NATO) was invading some bitchez and things were going down. At first, I was thinking “Man, what if they say Ukraine!” because they just invaded that place, but they picked Germany instead. Eh, whatever.

President fake guy launches the nukes and we see what happens.

gay-bomb

Its actually a lot worse than that. It’s so bad, the nWo’s WWE Titantron begins playing.

The movie displays lots of actual nuclear bomb footage and at one point, this woman freaks out and KEEPS MAKING THE BED after nuclear missiles were launched outside of her house. I wanted the man to punch her square in the nose for that.

The movie takes a good turn, with nothing at all happy occurring and a general feeling of hopelessness consuming the audience and the characters. Most of the die, too, confirming the hopelessness. And they all end up looking like that Jason kid on Friday the 13th part 50.

"Hey, now I'm the stupidest looking person in the room!"
“Hey, now I’m the stupidest looking person in the room!”

That was back when I took the time to put my website on screenshots. I’ve since become far lazier. Anyway, the movie ends with pure hell and destruction on earth. Check it out if you get a chance and enjoy it.

But remember – just like the Russian invasion of Ukraine proves, just because the Soviet Union is gone doesn’t mean the threat of nuclear war is too.

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