Review: In Time


In Time is one of those movies that happened because Justin Timberlake got a little too popular, again. The aging gene has been shut off so people age until 25, then die a year later. To make things even better, people have green clocks in their arm that are counting down!! LOL.

We get our first “Who has time…” cheeseball line less than 3 minutes in. Then the girl/his MOM tells him she wouldn’t know what to do if she lost him. Hey that’s a creepy thing to say.

People pay for things with their arms. Coffee costs 4 minutes. You can just grab peoples’ arms and steal time at will. And if you knew how many times Apple changed “peoples'” – even after i closed the dialogue, you would throw my phone for me. Timberlake, predictably, is the guy who knows everything. He saves some idiot guy and they run down the road – straight line! Hit an alleyway and vanish – or stay in the street light. Running into a warehouse eludes the mob.

The guy transfers all his time to Timberlake, except 5 minutes. That’s enough to reach the bridge across the window, and for JT to simultaneously wake up on cue, run to him and just miss him.  

A guy with a big ass nose is a dick in a bus. Timberlake’s hot mom dies, a foot away from reaching him after a two-hour sprint. 

Even though coffee costs 4 minutes, tolls to time zones cost 2 months to a year. Just to travel. Will Sallis wins 900 years in a poker game. He somehow was able to bet more than I think he had.

Now, Timberlake/Sallis is suddenly the best fighter ever and beats up 8 cops. He then flips his car and we see maybe the most obvious scale model in film.

Oh no! Watch out for that..toy
Oh no! Watch out for that…toy

Fortunately, the couple didn’t have to hit the loop, just down the road.

hot wheels
Will’s idiot friend drank himself to death after getting rich, which is what most stupid poor people would do with money. Fuck it up.

Just a lot of stuff keeps happening that is really unlikely. And I don’t know why this movie is in insanely widescreen.

At this point, they’re just running without purpose. Scarecrow is in full pursuit.

image (18)
Why is this so wide? Are we aiming for a ratio that is a full 360 degrees around a person?

A pussy guy sits there as a dude drains all his time and kills him! The gun isn’t even directly in his face and he just dies. I’ll take a bullet and go down fighting.

Timberlake realizes the level of corruption is insane and gives up (after killing 3 gang members with guns while in an arm wrestling contest with a gang member).

This works! LOL

This is just comical
This is just comical

Why would anyone put their gun down?

Next, the girl guesses the combination to her dad’s safe – first try. It was Charles Darwin’s birthday. And she guessed that (and knew it, who knows that?).

I guess Timberlake’s car is bulletproof because he drives through a police barricade, all firing at him. You see bullets bouncing off of the side of his car facing away from the barricade, too.

They have a million years in their hands but Timberlake and his plastic surgeried up girl don’t take any time for themselves. Scarecrow dies on cue. Timberlake manages to get enough time to run toward the girl and save her, last second as you would expect from this movie.

This is a stupid ass’s movie. If you watch it and think its intelligent or witty, it is because you’re dopey.


One thought on “Review: In Time”

  1. Timberlake sucks, He has zero charisma, acting or musical talent, taste or likability. I think his entire artistic output has been astonishingly vacuous, unoriginal, insulting, formulaic and bland… in the worst possible way. That he is so seemingly popular says something extremely dark about humanity. If the crowd can be this easily led astray, we are all doomed. If the marketers can get so many people to subject themselves to Justin T, they can get us to submit to anything. We are doomed. Why, why do people degrade themselves by paying the slightest attention to this simp? Lord bring about the end of days. Lord wash this world clean with flame, let foul smoke blacken the sky and blot out the sun..just please no more of that accursed Timberlake. Ohh, I have a terrible head ache. Anyway, the Timberino comes off as a spoiled, pampered, emotionally stunted, intellectually bereft, rich kid, asshole. He seems completely out of touch with reality and real people…even if he, (insanely and condescendingly) speaks in ebonics. That is really the kicker. ” yo BOYZZ..i’m gonna be all up in this movie now..yah…gonna try me some actin..”. God he is a terrible actor. Good god he is just fucking awful. He acts like a fucking wooden plank, a 2X4. up on the silver screen. A spoiled 2×4 that speaks in ebonics. Jesus fucking christ. Ebonics…holy shit.


Say something! Comment here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s