Telltale Game’s The Walking Dead SUCKED

Walking-Dead-for-Vita

People actually call this game “Game Of The Year.” Wow, there must not have been much else out – because it SUCKS.

Recently, I picked up “The Walking Dead” for my Playstation Vita, since it had been collecting dust next to my toilet for far too long. I expected a rather entertaining story but a few chapters in, I had already opened a walkthrough guide telling me what to do and turned the volume down to zero.

The story in this game is that you’re a black guy who was arrested (surprise!) and some redneck cop is taking you to jail before he wrecks and the zombie apocalypse just suddenly begins, right then. Pandemonium breaks out and within a few days, everything looks 40 years older and is destroyed or ran down. At no point do we see any of the Doomsday Prepper losers because they would be the first to die, since they show off like they’re proud of their wasted money. I would never be a Doomsday Prepper. I would just move in down the road from one so when everything went crazy, I could “dispose” of him and take all of his belongings, minus the dirty underwear and child porn, because you know they’re into that.

The main character, Lee, moves through the world at a snails pace with no run option ever, apparently. He encounters a girl and the whole time, I’m afraid he’s going to try to grope her or molest her. Thankfully, he doesn’t. But he does drag her along through a long and drawn out story that goes on seemingly for months.

The story didn’t interest me. Most of the distinguishing characteristics for the characters were only their race. A redneck trucker, a black man, a black woman, a Muslim, a fat white lady, an old racist white man and a fiery latina lady. Playing off of stereotypes isn’t really character development in my book. I don’t really have a book, either. That’s just a stupid saying.

I played the game for the Vita, as mentioned. It froze up every time I had to make a decision. Anytime I had to select a zombie’s head to smash its brains in, the game froze up or became choppy, too. It was very frustrating. And I’ll say it one more time – WHY CAN’T I RUN IN THIS GAME? Surely, the console versions had a run option – right?

This game is no different from Back to the Future – The Game. That was also a big disappointment, for me. I want a real game – not a storybook that makes me work for more story. Without a guide, you’ll sometimes wander around for extended periods trying to figure out what on (apocalyptic) Earth you’re supposed to be doing next.

The fact that this game got so many good reviews pisses me off. It doesn’t deserve them. I would rate it a “DON’T TRY” or “Rent for the achievements/trophies, using a guide” if I were to rate the game. I don’t want to even give it a rating. This isn’t a game – it is a chore.

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2 thoughts on “Telltale Game’s The Walking Dead SUCKED”

  1. You suck,kidd.Go learn some language first.You are the one Thats a chore.You dont even did a review and your words are waste.You suck.

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    1. Your grammar is fucking atrocious! If anyone here needs to learn the language its you! Lose the fucking attitude, dumbass!

      Like

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