Review: Gremlins


Gremlins was boring. I can’t believe anyone ever liked this movie. If they were actually “scared” by it, I wouldn’t leave my kids alone with them, based on likely mental incompetence.

A man buys a furbie from an old Chinese man and the thing ends up spawning a bunch of others who turn into monsters. The people kill them in comedic, slightly disturbing ways. Then, the movie ends. You’re glad.

The guy was an inventor and a shitty one. He made stupid inventions that sucked and then forced his family to use them. At one point, an orange juice maker turns one orange into 75,000 oranges worth of pulp and slops the kitchen up.

The guys toothbrush box thing shoots its load on him a bunch, too.


The “scary” version of the Gremlins were never scary. They didn’t look real to me. They also appeared to be really easily defeatable. I would just kick them hard enough to crush their insides. After two or three died, what would the others do? Attack me? No, they’d run.


This somehow has a generous fanbase but I am not so forgiving. The movie gets 2/10. Also, there is another one. I have to work up the courage to watch that somehow.

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