Review: As Above, So Below

Two Eiffel Towers down
Two Eiffel Towers down

As Above So Below is a horror movie starring Perdita Weeks as the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Oh yeah, besides that, I completely hated it.

The story is about a genius girl (also beautiful) who is looking for something. I think it is the gate of Hell. Everyone is skinny.

There weren't enough ugly fat people in this movie
There weren’t enough ugly fat people in this movie

They all convince a guy in a club to go to the catacombs by telling him treasure is there. His pirate ancestry gets the better of him.

Cops show up out of literally no where. They chase the young beautiful PHDs into the catacombs. We see a ritual that looks satanic and even hear 1990 low-budget-anti-Christ music.

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We get a fake scare thanks to a prank by one of the young researchers. As all of them climb over bones, one gets stuck. He goes nuts.

The movie took me around a week to finish, because I disliked it so much. This is all I could bring myself to write about it.

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