Review: The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey


The Hobbit is another movie about the fantasy land known as Middle Earth, a land of wild beasts and creatures, dragons, rings and groups that assemble for long journeys with little motivation. It is directed by Peter Jackson, based on J.R.R. Tolkeins books.

It’s 3 hours of movie btw. I don’t mind but my ass does so I had to schedule a break and you probably should to.

So Gandalf shows up and forces Bilbo to go on a journey by writing on his door. There is sexual tension between the two. A bunch of Jewish people I’ve since been told these are dwarves and the Hobbit set out on a journey I personally can think of 25 ways I would get out of going on.

Look, a cameo by Chris Christie
Look, a cameo by Chris Christie

We meet the Boss Nass of the orcs. Fat and gross and he gets his gut sliced by Gandalf. He jokes and dies.

Suddenly filled with bravery and combat savvy, Bilbo Baggins goes nuts and kills an ugly orc that appeared to be part pit bull.

Look like dogs
Look like dogs

So at the end, Gandalf summons the most bad ass eagles ever. They fling people off mountains, blow fire at bad guys, save people by flying under them at just the right moment. They save the day.

The movie doesn’t feel like it really ever achieved an end. It just paused for the next cash grab I mean movie to come out.


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