Review: Taken 3


Liam Neeson plays Brian Mills again in another movie called Taken.

First of all, everytime I think of this movie’s title, I think of this:

It begins confusingly. An accountant gets killed in a safe. Uh oh, Brian’s daughter is pregnant. Her baby’s dad is there. It’s awkward. She doesn’t tell Brian because of stupid movie logic.

So Lenore and Brian aren’t actually together. Lenore is married and her dick husband asks Brian not to talk to her again. So he finds her dead. The cops show up right then telling him to freeze, which was in the previews. He whips their ass but it’s cut weirdly so I didn’t enjoy it at all. He runs from the cops but Liam Neesons “running” looks like he just is hurrying to a toilet to pee.

We go through the movie a bit. The action scenes have so much camera jerking, I’ve not enjoyed a single one. Anytime a fight begins, we get so much zooming, jerking of the camera, quick moving shit and more that you not only can’t enjoy the fight, but you get a little sick.

Not to be confused with Taken 3. Also, better fight scenes.
Not to be confused with Taken 3. Also, better fight scenes.

Brian water boards Stuart, who mouths “fucking my wife” but says “screwing my wife.” Stuart reveals to Brian that he caused the killers to come after Lenore. I thought the killers were the family of who tried kidnapping Kim in the first movie.

So by aiming in a reflection, Brian shoots the wire holding a chandelier. He defeats the ugly Spetsnaz soldier in his underwear. Brian isn’t killing anyone in this movie. He is also not showing his teeth but probably for a different reason.

George Washington's wooden teeth were whiter
George Washington’s wooden teeth were whiter

Of course, Stuart kidnaps Kim and is the bad guy after taking out Brian’s special ops friend, with ease. Forest Whitaker plays a cop that is a step behind in everything. That’s all he plays.


Brian has an app on his phone that tracks his daughter via GPS. It’s nifty. Whittaker finally figured it out about two hours too late. Brian stops a jet from taking off by driving into the landing gear that was off of the ground.

Brian doesn’t kill Stuart. He just tells him he’ll find him and “we both know what will happen.” Another Taken movie, hopefully not.

After juggling a rubber band the whole movie, the payoff is when Whitaker wraps it on the file, to close it.

This movie was awful. Stop making them, Hollywood.


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