The Playstation Now Catalog SUCKS

POS

To show you how bad the Playstation Now catalog is, I’ve taken a list that I never checked the veracity of and I’m going to comment on each game and how unappealing most all of them are.

Aside from the fact that PS Now doesn’t stream that well unless you live a foot from one of their centers, in my opinion, the catalog of games sucks ass. Let’s look at them.
Alpha Protocol – The worst game. Shit it’s boring within 2 seconds.
Anomaly Warzone Earth – Well that sounds interesting. Of course, not at all.
Batman Arkham City – Anyone interested has played it by now.
Ben 10 Omniverse – Dumbshit game.
Ben 10 Omniverse 2 – Dumbshit game sequel.
Bioshock Infinite – Free a few months back on PS Plus, then on sale for a few bucks…fuck, everyone has it that wanted it.
BIT.TRIP Presents… Runner2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien – Sounds like shit.
BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger  – Oh hey, this series that no one has heard of or cares about.
BlazBlue: Chrono Phantasma – Pass.
BlazBlue: Continuum Shift Extend – ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Bound by Flame – Bound by lame.
Chime Super Deluxe – Oh well since it is the super deluxe version, I’ll probably still not ever play it.
Contrast – This was free at launch for PS Plus users and was never good, so fuck yourself.
Crazy Taxi – Yeah this series is still relevant.
Critter Crunch – No.
Cuboid Ultimate Bundle – Sounds great! Hold on while I kill myself.
Darksiders – Described as the hardest game ever and if you’re even 1% religious, it’ll probably turn you away. But besides that, it’s great.
Darksiders II – Oh hey make another.
de Blob 2 – Sure, I want to play de Suck 2.
Dead Island – First off, I could do an entire review on this. No depth perception with a 2D screen makes meleeing in first person a nightmare.
Dead Island Riptide – Rip is only used to describe farting in 2015. But probably somewhat appealing.
Dead or Alive 5 – I’ll pick the first.
DiRT 3 – Probably named after the kind of people it appeals to – dirt.
Dirt Showdown – I’m guessing this gets all the fans of the above game in a gravel parking lot, circled by pick-ups, and makes them fight.
Dynasty Warriors 7 – Played these games and they’re old within minutes if you’re not a fucking 12th century samurai entertained by mere swords and hairstyles.
Earth Defense Force 2025 – I’ve played enough Galaga, but thanks
echochrome – I’ve passed on this one 50 times.
El Shaddai ASCENSION OF THE METATRON – Sounds like shit.
ENSLAVED: Odyssey to the West – Is this about slavery? Because that might be cool.
F1 2013 – Racing games, great. I’m sure the stream will function flawlessly on this split-second maneuvering genre.
Final Fantasy XIII – Want to play a 90 hour game that has more reading in it than War and Peace? No? Yeah, this shit sucks.
God of War HD – Played it, as has everyone else, and I’m pretty sure its been free on Plus.
God of War: Ascension – Again, I think it’s been free, but even if it hasn’t, there’s been enough of these fucking games.
Grid 2 – It was free (and boy, was it bad)
Grid Autosport – If you change the D to a T, you’ll have the kind of person that likes this.
Guacamelee! – It was free already, and on sale for like a quarter…but it’s bad ass.
Hakuoki Stories of the Shinsengumi  – Hu huuuu, I no love this game long time
Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational – GOLF? REALLY? Yeah lets play fucking GOLF.
ICO – Is this named after ICO-PRO?
inFAMOUS – It’s been free already, it’s old as fuck, no thanks.
Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days – These games suck ass.
Killzone 3 – I hate Killzone.
LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes – I have this and it’s so bad, I can’t finish it.
LocoRoco Cocoreccho! – No thanks burrito breath.
LUMINES Supernova – I had one of these for my PSP. It was fun for about 20 minutes. Then, I hated the whole series forever.
Madagascar 3: The Video Game – I don’t like this, but it is a free platinum.
Metal Slug – Has never once sounded interesting to me.
Metal Slug 2 – Putting a 2 in front of it changes nothing.
Moto GP 13 – Lets drive motorcycles over a streaming internet connection! Or better yet, let’s go play with litter.
MotorStorm Apocalypse – Apocalypse is what will happen before I play this.
MX vs ATV: Reflex – Is this really a competition? Do people battle it out while riding these dangerous pieces of shit?
Nascar ’14 – Great, this will get all of the trash smiling. I would play as Earnhardt, run into a wall, then delete it.
NBA 2K14 – This has been free. Also, it sucks because it’s been out for 2 years.
Nights Into Dreams – Awake into asleep is what I would call this game.
Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 – Want to play the hardest, cheapest game ever made? You won’t after about 15 minutes!
Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising – Operation Low Budget. I’ll play Rainbow Six if I have the need for this.
Overlord 2 – What is this? Unappealing
Overlord: Raising Hell – It’ll freeze over before I waste my time here.
PAC-MAN Championship Edition DX – It’s not 1970.
Papo & Yo – Sounds interesting to a retarded cat
Piyotama – Sounds like a possible Atomic bomb target for the US in WW2.
Planet Minigolf – MORE GOLF???????
Port Royal 3: Gold – Crown Royal 1: Drunk. Anyway, this sounds like nothing we want to play in a universe with AC4: Black Flag.
Pure Chess – Pure shit.
Rainbow Moon – It was free already and unless you want to spend 100 hours playing a grinding, boring RPG, you’re good.
Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time – Do people really go for these?
Ratchet & Clank: Full Frontal Assault – Nudity joke?
Ratchet & Clank: Into the Nexus – I think they need to kill this series.
Record of Agarest War – Uninteresting.
Red Faction :Guerilla – Shitty sequel to a game I always enjoyed, but hated my friend who knew where the rail gun was and wouldn’t tell us.
Renegade Ops – I’ve played another game, you may have heard of it. Call of Duty: Anything.
Resident Evil 5 Gold – This sucked, really, but it’s also been on sale and free and available in bundles and so forth, so by now, everyone who wants it…
Rise of the Guardians: The Video Game – No one wants this.
Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken – Idiots.
Saints Row 2
Saints Row IV – It has been free, but can you imagine why someone would go back through this series?
Saints Row: The Third The Full Package
Shadow of the Colossus – I can tell you this sucks.
Shatter – my expectations.
Siren: Blood Curse Episodes 1-12 – That’s 12 episodes I won’t see.
Skullgirls Encore – Sounds stupid.
Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time – Hated it.
Sniper Elite V2 – Heard it sucked.
Soldner – X: Final Prototype – Misspelled Soldier and it sucks.
Sonic CD – This was hokey fad shit.
Sonic Generations – There was just one generation. And it sucked.
Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Episode I – No interest in the least.
Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Episode II – Hateful
Spelunky – Free on PS Plus already.
Super Street Fighter IV – First, I don’t even like the series. Second, you know a fighting game will suck nuts over a stream.
Tales from Space: About a Blob – Blahb.
The King of Fighters XIII – 13 games, huh? Maybe give it a rest.
The Last Of Us – Everyone has played it by now, but on the chance they haven’t, perhaps one actual decent title.
The Raven: Legacy of a Master Thief – I’m sure it’s awful
The Sly Collection – The shit collection
The Walking Dead: The Complete First Season – Reviewed it.
Tokyo Jungle – I’m pretty sure there isn’t a jungle in Tokyo.
Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune – Is this the shitty one for the Vita that no one likes?
Vessel – yeah, not interested
Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown – Talk about a shitty series
Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine – This strikeout.
Warhawk – Heard it sucks ass.
XCOM: Enemy Within – Free on PS Plus already, but a fun title.
Zen Pinball 2: Zen Pinball Classics – You have to buy the tables and this sucks anyway.

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