Dickhead Shawn Michaels was the best

Dickhead Shawn. Entirely different from modern day Shawn.
Dickhead Shawn. Entirely different from modern day Shawn.

As you may or may not know, there are two different Shawn Michaelss. The one we know today, a happy-go-lucky family man – and the one that used to exist – a total, coked up dickhead.

The moment Shawn Michaels laid that (stiff) superkick on Marty Jannetty, it was evident that attitude was going to be in his persona. But for astute fans, we had seen it long before that. Shawn got mad sometimes, in the ring. He would throw fits.

shawn-michaels-mugshot

He once was wrestling Vader in the main event of Summerslam, 1996, and screamed at him, broke character (kayfabe, Cody Rhodes. Stop saying it doesn’t exist) and made a fool of himself. Dickhead HBK then derailed Vader’s push around that time, probably due to Vader working stiff. Jim Cornette tells the story of Shawn threatening to get him fired!

Two words: Dickhead Shawn. That interview is great, by the way. Cornette hates Shawn and tells a great story everytime he talks about him.

Michaels was a dickhead both in and out of the ring, once getting into a fight with a single individual who whipped his ass so bad, it was later described as “9 thugs.” Bret Hart called them “9 Cheerleaders.” But it was really 1 crippled guy.

During the time that Shawn started doing DX stuff, many of the things that have become wrestling history began by him just being a total prick shit fuck face. For instance, the crotch chop…

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That shit was 100% Shawn Michaels, although the nWo tried to make it their own and did somewhat. However, you compare. Hulk Hogan doing it, or Dickhead HBK…obviously, only one of them makes sense.

Also, Dickhead HBK popularized another iconic WWE gesture. The ball-sack massage and cock-suck move:

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Oh wait…that one didn’t catch on. Maybe that was just him secretly revealing to everyone that he was, indeed, gay – as once accused of being by Bret Hart on the air…along with HHH. (Nothing wrong with it.)

Around the time Shawn Michaels was getting ready to win his first WWE championship (and during a period in which WWF was very much targeted toward young children), Dickhead Shawn reared his ugly head again and decided he would pose for, you guessed it, Playgirl.

Family.
Family.

That’s about like John Cena deciding today to pose for Playgirl. Can you imagine that happening? If you did, and you vomited like I just did, I’m sorry for the image.

Dickhead Shawn was the leader of a backstage influential group that, to this very day, controls the WWE. It is known as the Clique (the public version, Shawn’s fanbase, was referred to as the Kliq. This is separate). Thanks to this group, arguably, wrestling has been the worse for it since their inception and may never recover.

Who all we got there? Why its HHH.
Who all we got there? Why its HHH.

First, the Clique gave us a year with Diesel as champion. Next, he drops the belt and immediately jumps to WCW with Razor. Not having learned his lesson, stupid fucking Vince McMahon pushes Shawn to the moon. HBK squanders ratings while the recently pushed Razor and Diesel make WCW number 1. Sean Waltman joins WCW. HBK comes out on a talk show wearing an nWo shirt at one point. Folks, things got bad. The Clique almost killed WWE. It DID kill WCW.

But now, all we hear about is how much the Clique loved wrestling and loves it and loves this business. Bullshit. They love MONEY. That’s why they left for WCW. Maybe Hunter really loves this business, but I think he just likes fucking controlling it to the extent that he is always visible and he or his disciples are champions or in the main event picture.

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And it was all created by one man. Not Christian HBK or Mr. Wrestlemania. Oh no. Dickhead Shawn Michaels is who created the Clique. He is responsible for more mayhem and chaos than any other wrestler in the history of the WWE. Deep down, fans know it. That is why he was never loved quite as much as the other top guys.

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