Nailz – The Story of a Scary Man

death
death

Nailz was one scary man. He beat the crap of the Bossman. He sounded like the devil. He even got into it with the Undertaker and wasn’t afraid. Where did he go? I know. The moon.

See, for years, fans have wondered where this beast of a man vanished to. One day, he’s beating the shit out of the Big Bossman, the next – gone. Well, Bossman actually was hurt so bad that he went into hiding in WCW under some variety of aliases. Nailz followed but Bossman shook him, and Nailz lost his scent.

Let’s go back to 1992. Nailz was in the WWF and had found Big Bossman. He almost killed him in a vicious attack and then, proceeded to viciously attack all his “opponents.” He only choked and beat them up in malicious, violent ways. Not like normal wrestlers. The reason is simple:

Nailz didn’t know wrestling was fake.

Nailz killing a man
Nailz killing a man. Also, this card is worth 60 billion dollars

Unfortunately for Vincent K. McMahon, that meant Nailz would attack him during a meeting where he was probably demanding a match with “BOSSMAN.” That’s probably all he said. Vince tried to explain something about a storyline and Nailz choked him, just like He did His opponents. I just started capitalizing His name because I got scared of Him.

Please don't kill me if you read this Nailz
Please don’t kill me if you read this Nailz

So with Vince nearly dead, Nailz had to leave WWF. He was too bad ass for Vince’s hitmen to get him.

From that point on, Nailz relentlessly pursued Bossman. He followed him to WCW.

I walked into my room one day and all my toys were broken except for this one. It was standing over the others.
I walked into my room one day and all my toys were broken except for this one. It was standing over the others.

Then, Nailz searched for him on the moon in JFK Challenge.

nailz

Nailz ran for President.

nailzdebate

Then, he fought the monster in Lord of the Rings (he won).

nailzsauron

 

He took some selfies.

nailzselfie

 

Although we never knew for sure if Nailz found Bossman…the fact that this exists…

100_1825[1]

…leads me to believe he found him on March 28, 1999.

Nailz for Hall of Fame – Every year

Basically, any Nailz match.
Basically, any Nailz match.
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