Super old people shouldn’t be driving.


Why does our society entertain the idea of letting 93 year olds fucking drive automobiles? I love old people as much as the next guy (none) but cars and trucks aren’t fragile like their drivers. That shit would be like letting an old person drive one of the loaders from Aliens and pretending that it isn’t a bad idea.

If you haven’t seen the video, an old fuck ran into like 12 cars because they got mad that they screwed up at backing their car up.

You’ll notice two things immediately out of the gate about that video. 1 – Every car or truck the minivan hits suffers massive damage and 2 – The minivan seems to be impervious to damage. The last time I saw a vehicle that was this durable?


Aside from the aesthetics, there is more to the video. The driver was a 90+ year old person, like 93 I think…so old, I can barely hit the keys because I’m not used to using them. Why would you let this person drive a car? If they can afford gas, insurance (which should be $1000 a month) and a car payment, or to own a vehicle, then they can afford to pay a cab or take a bus or fund some kind of service to drive their ass around. Or you know what? You’re 93 – go to an assisted living community.

Now, another issue – the Mayland Police Department decided NOT to ticket this fucker for going Twisted Metal in the parking lot! They said it was because the old person may have had a medical condition. First of all, they did have a medical condition – being 93. You can die from just being 93. Natural causes. But clearly, the Mayland Police were duped by a simple, easy excuse any old person could use. The backlash was incredible and it was the number 1 trend on Facebook, at one point. I kept thinking that Mayland sounded a little familiar. Finally, I realized that not only their name – but their behavior reminded me of another law enforcement agency.

Andy Griffith joke, to appease any old people mad at me.
Andy Griffith joke, to appease any old people mad at me.

It should be a crime itself not to revoke this person’s license. I’m not even being mean here. It is a common sight to see moms and little kids walking in the parking lot and that idiot would have ran over them without a second thought.

Besides, if you look at the video, you can see they just fucked up when backing up and got mad about that, so they decided to floor it into everything. Oh but yeah they probably kept doing all that driving while having a heart attack.


One thought on “Super old people shouldn’t be driving.”

  1. Got hit by an old fucking grandma while riding my road bike. THIS IS THE THIRD FUCKING TIME, I SWEAR TO GOD. I cannot move over any more, if I do, I will be running the curb. Goodness jesus.

    Liked by 1 person

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