Review: Hell’s Kitchen – Season 5


It isn’t hard to understand why Gordon Ramsay gets so pissed off during seasons of Hell’s Kitchen. This one could have been one of the worst, in terms of ineptitude. So many were incredibly dumb and useless and probably killed their chances of a food career by appearing on this show. Let’s review.

I’m reviewing this with a full belly of oriental food.

I watched every episode of this season. It was incredible, really. I have to go into details about each of the cast members.

Lacey – I begin with the worst of the season. Lacey was so inept, she was thrown out mid service after being the luckiest person alive so much, I lost count. One thing after another went wrong with her. She couldn’t cook meat. She couldn’t do appetizers. She couldn’t garnish food. She couldn’t wipe her ass. She couldn’t

Andrea – Another inept idiot. She lasted on the show somehow to the top 3 and yet, screwed up everything in every service! She presented an average ahi tuna to Chef Ramsay, who gave her fucking immunity for it! Of course, she was so bad, she needed shot.

Giovanni – Yet another dipshit! He screwed up nearly in every single service. He also told Chef Ramsay that he was “not a fuck face” when the truth was, he was the epitome of my definition of fuck face.


LA – Really slow and uninspired individual. I don’t think she deserved to be kicked off before Lacey but somehow, Chef Ramsay did. He probably hated her lip ring. She was boring, short and slow. I found a pic of her.


Paula – Pretty hot, for a Hell’s Kitchen contestant. She is also talented. Made it to the finale.

Danny – Has talent and looks like he ate a pavement sandwich. But he won it.

Ben – Sweat way too much but was pretty talented. However, if he could buy himself for what he was worth and sell himself for what he thought he was worth, he’d be richer than Oliver Queen.

Carol – Pretty lady but didn’t make much of an impression.

Robert – Way too fat. He’s since lost a lot of weight, which was one of two options he had. He had a gastric sleeve surgery performed, pro-bono.

One thing that really taints the season for me is that Danny only became a sous chef in the Borgata after this, not a head chef. He actually quit over that. He formed a catering company for a while called “Back from Hell” and now has his own restaurant in Florida. Here is the Facebook page.  He also got a DUI once. Whoops!

Overall, a disappointing season. Tough to watch because of so many failures and to see how the winner didn’t even get what he was supposed to makes me wish I had skipped it.


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