Retards in WWE

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Since WWE recently joined the coalition of people who want to quit saying retards or something, I thought I would examine how WWE has portrayed the mentally handicapped in the past. Very sensitively, right?……………

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Eugene – Nick Dinsmore was a regular fella acting like he was mentally handicapped. The gimmicked got over in the first few weeks, so naturally, we had to see it for the next 3 years. It was AWFULAWFULAWFUL.

Jameson – Jameson would go around with the Bushwackers or Bobby Heenan and just look like a total nitwit. The guy wasn’t a single bit retarded…oops! I mean, uh…special.

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Jesse and Festus – Festus was another wetahd who came out, doing stupid shit and generally looking like a moron. His theme was Biscuits and Gravy.

Mankind – Make no mistake, Mankind was another retard. He sat in a fetal position, he had a rat, he was nuts, he stunk, he pulled his hair out.

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Hacksaw Jim Duggan – Another character that was retarded, literally, in its definition and portrayal. I mean, what’s up with that tongue? When that tongue shoots out of their head, its a sure fire sign you’re looking at a retard.

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Perry Saturn – The drug riddled idiot portrayed a retard who was in love with his mop.

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Luke Harper – Clearly, a retard.

Mae Young – An old senile/retarded lady who couldn’t quit showing her “puppies” which were horrific.

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Heidenreich – I almost forgot about ThirdenReich. A retarded sexual predator for WWE announcers and fan of chocolate.

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Maria – An either really dumb or literally mentally handicapped girl interviewing people backstage and being laughed at.

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George The Animal Steele – What else would you describe this as? Normal?

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Santino Marella – I’m pretty sure he was retarded too. Why else walk like that and put on a cloth cobra sock to hit people with?

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Boogyman – The guy painted his face up and ate worms, exhibiting severely mentally deranged behavior.

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2 thoughts on “Retards in WWE”

  1. You forgot Kurt Angle with what they turned him into. I always like how the WWE can take legit killers and turn them into comedy characters. Brock is lucky that he wasn’t put in that role. Maybe they want to be the lovable people or maybe its because…. George is hairy, Festus is bald, Santino is short, Dinsmore was about to be bald like Kurt Angle, and well I don’t have a flaw for all of them. I hear Heidenrich was a flake in the Sid ilk. Sad thing about Saturn is he turned into that character when he became a meth head and disappeared. Lucky for him some fans found him, cleaned him up and got his life back on track.

    As for Maria she was an interesting one. Even out of character interviews on radio she was dumb until Playboy, then suddenly she was knowledgeable and a spokes person. Jessica Simpson said it best… no one likes a smart rich girl.

    Liked by 1 person

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