Review: Goosebumps – Phantom of the Auditorium

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One of the first things I decided to do on this site was review Goosebumps TV episodes. It’s been a while but it’s Stine Time. Goosebumps.

We open to a bunch of flashing spooky stuff. It’s Phantom of the Opera! And a girl wakes up screaming way too loud. Supposedly these kids are in a cursed play. The Phantom then grabs a kid! But we return from break to see its a kid horsing around.

The shitty teacher fails to make the kids leave the auditorium and they fuck around until a janitor goes nuts on them. Evidently, the trap door elevator goes down several stories. Right.

The Phantom shows up in Esmereldas bedroom and we go to a commercial break so we can be sure it’s absolutely not the real thing. And when we return, Yep. It’s the damn fucking kid.

Alright so check this out. The girl goes to the dark for no reason auditorium. She encounters the real phantom who tells her to stay away!!! “From my own school? Not an option dumbass.” Id say. But anyway he goes down the 1 MPH trap door. Then a door falls from the ceiling, bounces off its bottom side and stands up perfectly still!!!!! That’d be like you dropping a penny and it standing up on its edge. I mean, it might happen….

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A guy with an orthodontists nightmare for teeth says there is no night janitor. I’d start carrying a knife with me at this school.

So the ratty old vagrant acting like a janitor turns out to be the Phantom and he gets away. He shows up that night in the play though. He touches the kid and he passes out then he looks at the girl and has fire in his eyes. She still kicks his ass. Then a 1923 yearbook appears. The actors trip over the Emmys they’ve won from this. It turns out to be I guess a kid or something. How are we supposed to remember all this?

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