Review: Goosebumps – The Return of the Mummy

Return_of_the_mummy

The Return of the Mummy is our latest Goosebumps episode to review. It features an actor from the Are You Afraid of the Dark series.

So we see that this episode will star a kid from Are You Afraid of the Dark, which was a lot better than this show, just kidding.

The kid, Gabe, is visiting a mummy’s tomb. He says he would hate to be alone about a millisecond before he is suddenly alone. He keeps using this old Polaroid camera that kids today wouldn’t even recognize.

So a reporter shows up and no one but me thinks it’s suspicious. We see stock footage shot in the 30s of Egypt. Obviously they were not on location. Gabe gets grabbed by a pedophiliac mummy. Commercial.

This Gabe kid is overacting so bad. He’s screaming at the top of his lungs. The daughter/sister is really annoying. A mummy with Parkinson’s shows up.

I don’t know why the kids don’t just grab a bunch of valuables and run off like I would.

Just as the Mummy is about to grab the useless kids, the reporter shows up and says she’s princess something. She saves the kids but then orders the mummy to kill them. Then he turns good and kills her. Then Gabe acts like a dope and throws his little claw hand into a fire. The whole tomb begins collapsing because of this. The mummy is angered and crushed.

More crap stock footage. We see the typical creepy ending – the mummy hand is in the kid’s suitcase. This episode feels very rushed and crammed.

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