Review: Raw is War – February 9, 1998

Raw is War
Raw is War

We open to a camera shaking and Sunny, as Marilyn Monroe, singing Happy Birthday to Mr Blassie. The attitude era and happy birthday opens the show. We recap last weeks episode.

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Austin comes out with a bag. Crowd is hot for him and he is pure roids. Austin says he wants HBK at No Way Out, but of course, Shawn will not be at the show because of his back. HBK comes on the titantron and they mouth a little. Austin stole his belt. Cheesy. HBK has to come to the ring for it.

Next segment is Sunny, ring announcing. WWF didn’t pace their talent across segments well. Will it be midgets or Mexicans!!?? Actually neither. Tag team. LOD comes out as Sunny botches their weight. The NWA is their opposition. We hear it pushed hard that LOD needs to change or adapt. (LOD 2000). We hear this as the Rock n Roll Express, 76 years old, beat them up. Bradshaw is out. This segment is filled with irrelevance.

Speaking of uninteresting, we go from bad to worse. The Quebecers and the Godwins. Hilarious actually how bad this show was in retrospect! Henry wins with help from Phineaus.

The excitement continues with Brian Christopher and Zebra Tiger Guy (Pantera) against Taka Looks like he stinks Michenoku and Aguila. This paragraph made spell check go nuts. Kane comes out and kills them all. Paul Bearer cuts a promo. Kane sets a clock on fire. It has Vader’s face on it.

The Rock comes out and does a weird promo about genetic cloning. It’s all to tell the people of Evansville how awful they are. Rock and Farooq face Shamrock and Chainz. Nothing exciting. Until Rock blasts Shamrock with the nastiest chair shot. He snaps.

We see the Wrestlemania press conference. Then we see all the press, all recorded on a VCR over bad broadcast signal, evidently.

Steve Blackman comes out and swings a bunch of sticks around like Batman Forever under a black light. Blackman was said to be a bad ass. He will face the Truth Commission’s Recon. You wonder why Nitro won in the ratings. Jackyl descends from the rafters, behind a preacher’s podium. He’s a Jim Jones style guy. This segment is horrendous. Boring. Fans chant shut up as Jackyl talks until Blackman wins.

The New Age Outlaws are out for some comedy based on last weeks dumpster ride.

Goldust as Marilyn Mansondust and Luna are out with Mero and Sable. Sable gets sent back my Mero. Dustin looks ignorant. JR actually mentions how he has changed since being The Natural, a WCW character. Sable comes out and slaps Goldust costing him the match to Thrasher who I forgot to mention. She slaps Luna too and the fans go wild.

Last segment is up. Degeneration X comes out. Trash talk and Austin comes out. DX and the Outlaws surround him but Chainsaw Charlie and Cactus Jack come out from under the ring. Was there a piss bucket under there? I want to know. Owen Hart comes in. They fight off the bad guys as we get ready for In Your House No Way Out

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