Review: Goosebumps – Attack of the Jack O’ Lanterns

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Attack of the Jack O Lanterns is our next televised train wreck. Why does RL Stine not even try to catch the flying papers at the open? I think I saw a green pussy in the open collage.

Out of the gate, the sky looks faker than high school drama plays I’ve seen. Two kids are happy that it’s Halloween but one is a dork.

Someone is stalking the kids. He’s growling. It may be a werewolf or it maybe a kid dressed as a monster because it is. The acting is baaaaad.

All the kids go into a maniacs house and some old licky guy who belongs in a Mos Eisley Cantina tries to get them but it’s a dream. The dork dresses as a garbage sack for Halloween. I’ve never seen a neighborhood as busy as this shows.

I’m beginning to wonder if anything is even going to happen on this episode. Suddenly the Jack O Latern people show up. They have lobster claws for hands.

The pumpkin people drop the candy everywhere which bugs me. They plan to make the kids trick or treat forever. What a sinister plot

Evidently though, it was all a prank to get back at two kids. The Jack o Lanterns are actually…aliens….They’re really sock puppet asparagus aliens. And they ate the missing people. So even though they helped pull a prank, they’re still really evil.

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