Batman: Arkham Knight: Things that fucking suck

Batman_Arkham_Knight_Cover_Art

Batman Arkham Knight is the next-gen Rocksteady conclusion do the Arkham series…or so we are led to believe. Anyway, the game is pretty fun but has a lot of technical problems that only I, the Riddler…I mean, the Critic can do justice to in an article.

27 pound Batmobile. The fucking car slides and flies after you hit a soda can. This car should be gripping the ground but no, it’s lighter than fuck.

Buttons not working. Sometimes, you’ll hit counter in a fight and it just won’t counter it. Most of the time, this never occurs. However, there are times where you tap it and you’ll just stand still for a punch.

Not being able to jump over rails when you tap X X by it. Batman will sometimes just do an in-place physics defying dive into a rail instead of jumping over it. He does this with the winch cable too.

Game taking control from you when enemies are about to shoot and not letting you do what you want. Sometimes it doesn’t let you do ANYTHING.

Random destination grappling. You shoot that grappling hook and you might end up in Metropolis.

Fucking awful camera angles when changing directions. Especially in a fight. Also when driving. Also when playing Arkham Knight. The camera loves getting stuck behind stupid shit or aiming down at you from the side enemies are coming from. I don’t have time to direct the goddamn game and play the main character at the same time.

Loading times that I wish were less but I guess I can’t complain much about

One mile per out grapples. This fucking grappling hook is faster

PneumaticallyPowered-Grappling-Hook-Gun

Batman moves at 88 miles per hour through the grates under the floor and fucking misses openings to go in, making you go back and forth over it like a cheese grater.

Stuck on everything. You get stuck on everything when trying to stealth-move around.

Once again another video game that doesn’t fucking take into account the amount of shit the camera will get stuck on or move in direct view

I’ve hit buttons when the prompt was on the screen and nothing happened

The immobilizer and its locking on mechanism fucking suck. I HATE THE IMMOBILIZER ROCKSTEADY. Probably my least favorite part of the game. This shit wont even lock on when they’re square in front of you. It’ll take forever to shoot and lock on and it just blows dicks.

Did Rocksteady seriously think anyone would get used to SQUARE as brake? If R2 is accelerate, L2 should be brake.

I cannot believe how inaccurate the Vulcan cannon is. It’s shameful. I don’t think the upgrade for its accuracy helps at all. These games don’t capture mini guns at all well


I may update this page with more. If I do, i’ll be below this line. Check back.

Expect a full review of the game later. It’ll be rated well, don’t get me wrong. But we don’t suck game dev ass around here.

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6 thoughts on “Batman: Arkham Knight: Things that fucking suck”

  1. Totally agree! I would also say that having the “tank” mobile forced on the player is annoying. why is Batman suddenly unable to gain access to every fucking building in Gotham without that stupid fucking tank. Their tagline is “Be The Batman” and it should have been “Be The Tankman”.

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  2. This game fucking sucked. Every moment of it was frustrating as fuck and few games have ever made me curse so loudly or get as out of control pissed off as this. Fuck this game. Piece of fucking shit.

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  3. Combat system is all screwed up. Less responsive and clumsy as hell. Even fully upgraded, Batman seems like exactly what every thug calls him after he gets outed- a rich dude with toys that do his fighting for him. Worse, he doesn’t seem to know how to use them very well. He barely hangs on most times. And the giants running around demand attention. Attacks meant for other foes go straight to them. Rocksteady went into this with no understanding of the previous games’ prioritizer system. Aerial attacks should reach men with shields, not just anyone. Instead, the prioritizer for AK only seems to be aimed at giants, completely ignoring the fact that different guys require different tactics. The Joker giant/boxer is the worst. If you attack anything within 45 degrees of him, maybe more, you go straight to him, ruining your multiplier every time. Gaaah, this sucks. This is how Rocksteady extends gameplay? By making the fighting system far less efficient? You suck Rocksteady.

    And what’s up with the unskippable cutscenes? I wouldn’t mind if it were just a few shorts, but the long Arkham Knight “back flashes” where Bruce’s subconscious fears over what Jason went through get realized are not only long, but in some cases require just enough interaction that the trigger for the scene alone takes forever to set up just so you an walk away and let it run. These things make having to sit through end of session taunts nearly a non-issue. I’d rather have to option of restarting right away than listen to Jason over and over. It’s all just a cheap way to extend gameplay, making you sit through entire scenes without any power to cut them off.

    And what about Batman made them think “Tank fights”? Is it just their way of making you stay until long after the game would otherwise be finished? I’ve been through the story several time now, and I’m pretty sure that it’s plain impossible to fight missile launchers AND flying drones. The Batmobile’s missiles need to charge at least four times as fast, because this ain’t working.

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  4. The fact that strategic strategy behind moves isn’t taken into account- instead priority always goes to the giants. Cut scenes that go on forever and can’t be skipped, with minimal interaction on the player’s part to justify it. I also hate how the batarang can no longer kill enemies by knocking them off ledges. Why should his tech ever become LESS effective? And yeah, stupid tank battles with weapons that don’t charge fast enough.

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