Straight Outta Compton is straight fucking awesome.

MV5BMTA5MzkyMzIxNjJeQTJeQWpwZ15BbWU4MDU0MDk0OTUx._V1_SX214_AL_

Straight Outta Compton is a movie about a bunch of black people. Actually it’s about the origin story of a group you may have heard of: RUN DMC.

The movie opens with a man named Eric going to a friends house. They’re playing board games and having fun but he needs money cause he loaned this one guy lunch money or something. Suddenly, everyone gets angry at each other. I’ve seen this happen between black people before and as a white man, I can’t explain it. It just goes there. The cops show up before things get out of hand. We see the movie logo to confirm we are in the right theater.

A loud lady is mad at Dr Dre for not being rich yet. She slaps him. A kid throws up a gang sign on a bus and he gets a gun to his head. We hear Rihanna whining something.

I don’t understand what’s going on in this movie.

Some cops show up and are fucking scumbag assholes. Nice to see an accurate portrayal of the police for once. It is a recurring theme in this movie.

Ice Cube starts rapping and people go nuts.

The NWO takes off. I think it stands for – brace yourself – niggas with attitudas

The central social theme is on police abuse and it’s something we still have problems with today. The Rodney King verdict was SICKENING. All of the officers found not guilty. Police abuse their shit so much. I agree. F word the police.

So anyfuckingway, the group encounters a lot of people and problems too. They meet Suge Knight who beats people up a lot. He’s a butthole. Then the Snoop D O double G shows up. Jimmy Iovine. Uhh, Carrot Top. Some others. My memory got pretty bad around here thanks to some great weed.

The NWA breaks up

These were niggas with weather certifications
These were niggas with weather certifications

But coughing Eazy E starts getting everyone back together and they prepare to do a reunion.
Yokozuna stands guard outside Eazy E’s hospital as he learns he has AIDS. It sucks. I feel really bad for him and get a headache in his honor.

Dre shows up. Some dickhead in the theater begins coughing like he has tuberculosis. Get him out of here. Ice Cube shows up THE GUY IS COUGHING AGAIN. Is he jealous of Eazy E or something? As I contemplate a forced removal of this hacking nuisance, E dies. Pretty sad.

Dre forms Aftermath records and walks out on Sugar Knight. I would have said when Suge asked what my company name was I would have gone “Splenda bitch!!!!” And done a real gangsta exit. But I don’t think Splenda had been invented yet.

This movie is awesome as fuck!!

Advertisements

Say something! Comment here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s