In Your House 7: Good Friends, Better Enemies was actually good, for once.

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In Your House Good Friends Better Enemas was the 7th incantation of the PPV series but the first that really stepped up and out on a quality scale that had previously sucked!

Free For All is up first and Doc Hendrix is our emcee. Doc hypes us for everyone on the show tonight: Diesel, HBK, the Ultimate Idiot.

It’s 123 Kid vs Wildman Marc Mero, Sable along too. Get this – King acts like she’s ugly. Ha. Mero looks good and sells that he’s WIIIIIILD. Again, funny. Kid misses his kick more than ever. Triple H comes down to stalk Sable. Helmsley interferes and it’s a DQ win for Marc Mero. Mero looked good. Helmsley throws up a Kliq sign when he walks out.

Warrior does an interview where he has a massive overbite. I wish Vince didn’t murder him. The interview gets interrupted by i think Marlena but it cuts to the pretaped video.

The shit itself starts. It’s Bulldog and Owen vs Jake Roberts and Ahmed Babyoil Johnsom. Jake does a horrid pre match interview. He pulls his snake out and puts its on everyone. Ahmed Johnson is pretty sloppy in this match and drops Owen on his head. He goes insane at one point. Owen and Bulldog win but my headache overrules this boredom.

Goldust comes out. Vincegasm as he says “You wanna get BIZARRE??” He’s going to face the Warrior. When Warrior comes out, Vince goes wild. It’s funny. What isn’t funny is listening to King tell movie title jokes. He goes way beyond where he should have in this match with it. The Warrior just sits in the ring smoking a cigar for like 5 minutes. Vince screams “Come on.” I don’t know why but Kevin Smith is with Goldust in this. I’m thirsty. It’s just stupid shenanigans and Warrior wins via count out then beats up Kevin Smith. Warrior puts a wig and hat over his hair and celebrates. Yep.

We go backstage as the Bulldog screams at HBKs locker room door to sit up the next PPV. The story is Diana accusing HBK of sexual harassment. She also has zero charisma in the storyline/life.

Next, Razor Ramon’s last WWF PPV match! Razor Ramon vs Vader. Vince just makes a fool out of himself for the whole night, I have determined. This match is actually a solid little show. Vader wins by sitting on Razor.

Undertaker is on AOL, backstage. lol.

Toddster is selling is polos and hats for Undertaker, Ultimate Warrior and Shaaaaaaaaawn Michaels.

Next up its the Godwins vs The Body Donnas. King slut shames Sunny who ends up costing the Godwins the match. Phineas had a crush on Sunny. King heard a hooker told him not on the first date.

We see a promo for the NEXT In Your House. Wildman Marc Mero whispers a promo for fighting HHH.

The first 2,500 people who send their PPV bill in get 5 minutes of long distance phone calls for free!! LOL. In 2015, we have unlimited.

We get all the buildup for the main event. Diesel says, dip in his lip, that he has a surprise for Vince tonight!! He makes his entrance and I’ve seen newborns that were dryer. He throws his leather jacket on Vince’s head which seems to upset Vince, shoot. Backstage, the camera man zooms in on HBKs dick. Both throw up a Kliq sign on entrance.

Randomly, HBK goes for a BOOT from across the ring. Why!?!! Diesel chokes the ref out with his wrist tape to steal his belt to beat and choke Shawn with. This makes no sense. In a move we would never see in the PC era, Diesel pulls a Robin Williams on HBK and hangs Shawn with the belt, tying him up.

HBK takes a jackknife through the announce table. His endurance is a 10 tho and he gets up, grabs a fire extinguisher and fucks up with it. It won’t spray. “Motherfucker!” Shawn screams! It works the second time. The flustered HBK grabs a chair and we get more botchy fun as a headset is tied into it and he can’t get it loose.

We go for a few more minutes and Diesel pulls Mad Dog Vachon’s prosthetic leg off but Shawn steals it, smacks him with it and super kicks him for a win. Shawn tells Diesel to get out. He mocks Hulk Hogan and says “You want a big boy to play with?” Into the camera!

Fantastic main event, and a decent enough show, too. For once, an In Your House that didn’t suck!!

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