Rebel Galaxy is fun for about 20 hours.

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I decided to lose $20 instantly so I could be entertained for about 20 hours and I would suggest that is a decent value in 2016. Rebel Galaxy is a game where you play as a nameless nephew of some aunt that gets annoying and you run around this small section of the galaxy shooting people Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag style, only in a spaceship.

There are probably 15-20 ships to choose from but really there are two – a really fast frigate, and the endgame dreadnaught. No point in even using any of the others.

The weaponry, it’s laser beams or pulse-fired guns. There are flak guns, both dummy-fire and homosexual missiles and more. Plenty of options are available to customize your ship, in other words. You can also name it, which has absolutely no effect on anything except when you go back to rename it and see the name you picked the first time you pointlessly did that. I named my ship Enterprise. Major nerd admission.

The game has a story but luckily, you can skip it because it is BORING. The fun part is running around, buying and selling, trading and raiding and just like a smuggler or pirate, moving up in the galaxy. The only problem is, once you get to level 6 weapons, that is it. That takes about 20 hours of play to reach, less if you’re playing intelligently.

Then, you either grind out the boring and I mean BORING trophies or you just get sick and delete it. I’m working on finishing the trophies now but folks, the game gets me for maybe an hour at most before I get tired of it and go put my dick on the George Foreman grill. You can only fly around so much before the game feels like the most aimless shit of your life.

I’m not sure how they could have corrected this, since every game I suppose needs an end and that’s simply what this game achieved, but there really isn’t a rewarding reason to continue playing after the suck-ass story ends unless you want to get the platinum. By the way, thank you for giving this game a platinum. I hate when games like this are longer than fuck and get a stupid trophy list that a one hour game should have. That’s some dick move action by Sony, a notorious dick move action company.

I would rate Rebel Galaxy a 6/10 but if you’re into space type stuff, especially Star Trek, you’ll enjoy the game. If not, you’ll probably hate it. I hate everything.

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