Rogue One: A Star Wars Story gave me depression


Obviously, I spoil the movie in the review but the fact is, I think Disney spoiled the movie by releasing it. This movie wasn’t good, except for the scene at the end with Dark Helmet.

So the movie begins by making me think a Star Destroyer is swooping in but it was actually a triangular shape of a dust ring. Then some stuff takes place. We meet our main characters and they’re absolute boredom. The only character with any personality is the droid. I can’t tell you what any of their names were (including the droid).

Darth Vader sounds different. I don’t know why but they should have been able to notice and fix this.

Governor Tarkin was noticeably CG. I couldn’t quit staring at his mouth. It was weird.

What was up with the traumatic war scenes? I couldn’t take that shit seriously with a midget troll face running around shooting people.

For some reason, IP Man was in this but he’s blind. So of course, he can use the Force and he goes nuts in one scene, beating all these Stormtroopers’ collective ass. I assumed this guy would have been trained as a Jedi if there weren’t no such thing as those anymore. I liked this little touch.

I didn’t like the main character girl or the boring ass scoundrel guy.

Then, everyone dies at the end? LOL! I was like…what the fuck are they doing this for? Couldn’t you have let one or TWO live to maybe go on and have a happy life? Or at least do a cameo in the Obi-Wan movie they’re setting up with Jimmy Shits.

At the end, Darth Vader absolutely goes NUTS on a room full of Rebels. I loved it. It was legitimately the best thing I’ve seen on screen since I saw Batman do the warehouse scene in Batman V Superman.

The movie itself wasn’t really good, though. I’d call it a 6/10 film. Again, better than the prequels, but that doesn’t make a good film. This was, however, better than The Force Awakens.

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