Category Archives: Video Games

Watch Dogs blows

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Ladies and gentlemen, this game had only been hyped up for what seems like a century. It’s junk. Garbage. Here are the reasons I found why, before I had to return the game.

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FTL is harder than a blind lesbian’s nipples in a fish market but I love it

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There is something to say about a video game that I have yet to beat, but somehow continue to play for countless hours. That’s FTL.

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Wow, did UFC Undisputed 2010 suck a pete or what

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Recently, I literally had nothing better to do than pick up a copy of UFC Undisputed 2010. I went through career mode and whipped most everyone’s anus, like I would in an actual fight (except Cain Valesquez. I’m scared of him and he killed me 3 times in the game before I was able to inch out a victory against him).

But as always, the question is – did I like it? No, I hated it and took it back.

Continue reading Wow, did UFC Undisputed 2010 suck a pete or what

Grand Theft Auto Online is shit

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As much as I want to enjoy it, because it is a great concept, here are all of the reasons why GTA Online is shit. And what’s funny is, I need to take a shit while writing an article about shit. This could get muddy (turd joke).

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Infamous: Second Son sucks

infamous

Here we go again. Something I picked up and was all about at first. Then, little by little, it happened. The cracks started showing. The flaws? More and more evident. And it finally happened. I admitted to myself that I was going to platinum the game and sell it.

This was the first 30 minutes of play.

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Who the fuck would want to play Dead Nation?

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This game is boring and sucks. You can’t even see the characters – and that’s when I’m sitting 3  feet from a 55 inch LED TV that is giving me a tan from being so bright. The default weapon, a “rifle” that is single fire and weaker than a nerf gun, is more like a shitty pistol. Oh don’t worry though – you can HOLD DOWN to charge up a shot. Yeah, I remember when I was hunting once and held down the trigger to charge up a shot before firing at the elk…wait, that’s right – GUNS DON’T DO THAT.

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How news would unfold if the Hitman: Absolution universe were reality

hitmanabsolutionps3

I got the platinum trophy on Hitman: Absolution pretty fast – not because it is a good game but because I wanted to get done playing it and never touch it again. I hated this game and instead of reviewing it, I decided to write some news stories based on how things might unfold in the Hitman: Absolution style of reality.

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Revisit: Batman: Arkham Origins continues to be trash

I didn't make this and couldn't find who did - but it's funny. If you made it, thanks
I didn’t make this and couldn’t find who did – but it’s funny. If you made it, thanks

The most popular article on this budding young Website thus far has easily been my destruction of Batman: Arkham Origins. Even though Google/Bing never show me in the search results because I am not in the illuminati, you keep finding the article and reading it, some even offering feedback. So lets journey back into Gotham, now that a few months have passed. Have things improved? Did WB: Montreal step up their game? No.

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I played half a game on Madden 25 and deleted the game off my PS4

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This game sucks. I barely want to write about it because I played it for such a brief period of time. Where do I even begin? For starters, every time I look away from the box art posted above, I think I see a football on the lower-right. Then, I look directly at it and it is just a football-shaped arm. That pisses me off.

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UPDATED! A living list of games ruined by Electronic Arts

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Electronic Arts might be the worst company in the world. It is, if you listen to what the people say. But they continue to ruin game after game, series after series and franchise after franchise. It’s heartbreaking for true fans of video games since EA has some of the biggest names in entertainment and sports to design for. How is it that they screw up so much, so bad? Greed. Playing to their stockholders instead of their customers.

Here exists a living, updated list of games Electronic Arts has absolutely ruined, in my opinion of course. If you want to add a game to the list, just reply! If I add it, I’ll credit you with the suggestion!

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I would like Battlefield 4 if it didn’t suck so much

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Battlefield 4 is one of the best worst designed games I’ve ever seen. It strikes on all cylinders when the game is working well but that doesn’t happen for long without some ridiculous ineptitude popping up in the form of horrendous programming.

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Batman: Arkham Origins Sucks

The box art. Coolest part of the game.
The box art. Coolest part of the game.

It’s that time of the year again when the criminals of Gotham hatch a foolish plan to murder a bunch of people and make not enough money for their trouble, but we buy into it because Batman smashes their face. But this year, even the face smashing won’t save us from a shitty ass fuck game.

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WWE 2K14 sucks

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Like all WWE games, 2K14 uses the Yukes engine commonly called the “Smackdown” engine, since it’s been used now dating back to the Smackdown! series on PS2. However, while it was a fun series at a time (Here Comes the Pain!), it’s been pure garbage for a while. The latest jumps so far off of the quality-cliff, that as I write this, it’s developer is jobless. There may be justice in this world!

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