Tag Archives: reviews

Review: We’ll Always Have Paris (Star Trek The Next Generation)

Show begins with Picard kicking a crewman’s ass at fencing. Suddenly, time begins to loop. Jean Luc is so bad ass, he doesn’t panic at all. He calls the bridge and goes to work. I love him. Continue reading Review: We’ll Always Have Paris (Star Trek The Next Generation)

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No Man’s Sky is a fucking let down

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I looked forward to this game for years and GODDAMN if it isn’t another fucking total let down. Even Rebel Galaxy had more to do in it than this piece of shit! Literally, Rebel Galaxy is free for PS Plus this month. Get it and play it instead.

So I thought about ending the review there, since it would be the review-equal to No Man’s Sky – a game with a fun beginning and nothing else. However, unlike the devs for that game, I’m not a lazy liar. You see, the developers of this game actually lied about what was in the game during interviews and promotions.  Continue reading No Man’s Sky is a fucking let down

Stranger Things got boring for me.

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While it began strong and had me hooked early on, Stranger Things quickly became tedious. The ending was pretty expected and cheeseball. I didn’t like it and let me tell you, I’ve drank a bunch of Tequila.

So, the show starts out strong. Credit given. Four kids quickly become three and they ride around on bicycles being Dungeons and Dragons kids. Someone once told me “Don’t write kids, unless you’re talking about goats.” Well, guess what? I might be talking about goats here. You never know. So one of the four goats gets kidnapped by evil monster dimension. Continue reading Stranger Things got boring for me.

Independence Day: Resurgence was miserable

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Independence Day: Regurgitation is the latest flop from 20th Century Fox. The movie opens with an alien watching footage of the first movie when Bill Paxton, oddly being filmed by someone, gave the speech about how Randy Quaid was going to fly a jet into the spaceship and blow it up at the perfect time. Remember that shit?

However, it’s the old fucking Bill Pullman’s dream? Actually, it’s not. He’s having VISIONS OOOH.

We learn how the planet rules now, even though in 1996, every city on the earth was destroyed. I don’t think 20 years would be enough to pretend like nothing ever happened. Remember how 9/11 happened and it took like 10 years to build one building? I think it was fucking still on fire a year later, come on. But add ten more years to Freedom Tower, a crushed world economy, 3% of the population and yeah it probably was rebuilt in no time shut up stop asking questions. Continue reading Independence Day: Resurgence was miserable

Review: Goosebumps – Attack of the Jack O’ Lanterns

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Attack of the Jack O Lanterns is our next televised train wreck. Why does RL Stine not even try to catch the flying papers at the open? I think I saw a green pussy in the open collage.

Continue reading Review: Goosebumps – Attack of the Jack O’ Lanterns

Review: Goosebumps – Vampire Breath

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Vampire Breath is our next episode because they ran out of episodes that didn’t sound like shit. This episode was so bad, it took me weeks to finish just this measly review of it. I couldn’t watch it. Every time I would start, I would get nauseous because of how bad of a waste of time it was. So just know, this fucking episode is one of the worst of the worst.

Continue reading Review: Goosebumps – Vampire Breath

Review: The Day After

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The subject of armageddon, the end times, rapture or eschatology are always a true interest to me. The Day After is an 80s look at what nuclear war could, at any day (including today), do to society – fuck it up bad. But this movie is more than that. A lot of people say it is what helped to bring an end to the arms race. 100 million people watched it on ABC, making it the most watched movie on television. And even Mr. Rogers had to get on TV and calm kids down. Probably the stupid ones. I hope you’ll watch this movie and consider the implications of allowing nuclear proliferation (including by allowing Iran to become nuclear). Here is my fair review of it.

Continue reading Review: The Day After