Tag Archives: Wrestling

I hated Wrestlemania 32 from start to finish

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Wrestlemania 32 wasn’t worth a shit. I almost went to it but I’m glad I didn’t. I’ll tell you why or you can fuck yourself.

Kalisto (champion) vs. Ryback, United States championship

Boring match you could have seen on an episode of Superstars. It seems like I saw some botches but I can’t recall. I’m used to seeing them in a Ryback match. Kalisto won like he wouldn’t

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5 WWF Stars that, in their time, would have won a UFC TITLE

With the UFC only becoming a true avenue for mainstream talent recently, a lot of past tough guys in pro-wrestling almost make you think “what if” in a different universe, they had become MMA talent instead. Here is a personal list of 5 I can think of, off the top of my head, who I believe would have had great success! in the UFC.

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Kurt Angle
Anyone that is an Olympic Gold Medalist is instant contender for UFC gold. Henry Cejudo comes to mind as hopefully, the future man to dethrone Demetrious Johnson. Out wrestled Lesnar. What’s that tell you?

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In Your House 14: Revenge of the Taker was a big clusterfuck.

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In Your House: Revenge of the Taker followed the worst performing Wrestlemania in history, 13. “WALCOME EVERYONE!” Vince screams. The trio of Vince, JR and King Jerry Lawler are on commentary.

Uggghhhhhhh WHAT A RUSH! The Legion of Doom faces Bulldog and Owen. Smith and Hart use Bret’s theme, as the Hart Foundation had just recently reformed as a heel stable. “Hey Ross, you ever stop to think and forget to start again?” King begins the night with. LOD win the belts by pinning the wrong man. The decision gets reversed and the match continues. The commentators missed every second of it while arguing. Vince pretty much says it twice. He calls for the replay three times. The LOD hits the Doomsday Device on Owen and Bret Hart is late running out. The referee has to stall and finally counts so Bret can cause the DQ. When the finish gets botched, it’s a big deal. This show will see even more of this tonight.

We see Sunny and Brian Pillman basically fucking on the Superstar line. I’m sure they really did hook up, considering Sunny will finger-fuck herself on Skype for a $20 in 2015. Sick of Sunny jokes yet? I’m not!

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WWF Superstars – January 13, 1990

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Superstars this week is January 13, 1990. I was 4. This also doesn’t have the show open and begins mid-show…

Andre the Giant is in a Post Honeycomb commercial on my copy of the show. His teeth make me hungry. Hacksaw faces a jobber as Vince and Jesse discuss the Royal Rumble. Big Bossman pops up and says hey Hacksaw I’ll fight you at the Rumble bla bla. Ventura hates Duggan and says he’s an idiot. Vince says some of Hacksaw’s family works at NASA.

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Stone Cold Steve Austin – Alleged steroid using woman beater

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I used to be the biggest Stone Cold Steve Austin fan. He would open up a can of whoop ass on Mr. McMahon and stun him, stun Shane, stun Stephanie (?), stun Linda (???) and maybe even stun Debra, his wife. While several of those women that Austin beat up were in the script, at least several that he has beat up in real life were not in any script. Steve Austin is a woman beater, according to his ex-wife.

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nWo Souled Out 1997 was shit.

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I can remember the hype behind the first nWo PPV back during 1997. It was when WCW was on top of the Monday Night Wars, an over-used phrase by WWE to market shit. But the nWo was huge – big enough to have it’s own pay-per view. How did that go over? Like a turd in the punch bowl.

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Wrassling for mobile platforms is fun – for about ten minutes.

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Wrassling is a game I found on the App Store that basically simulates a battle royale in wrestling. There are bosses and events and it all can be kind of fun. For about ten minutes.

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Slamboree 93 – A Legends Reunion (that blew dicks)

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Slamboree 93 was the very first in a series of 7 years worth of Slamboree (the plural of Slamboree). The poster for the event doesn’t show any of the matches, because they weren’t just bad – they were booked with no wrestling fan’s interest in mind. Davey Boy Smith, in the main event? I guess because he had headlined WWF Summerslam 92 (against Bret Hart in ENGLAND), WCW thought he would be a good main eventer in…Atlanta. Schiavone interrupts the announcer to open the show! The legends are already in the ring! We see Verne Gagne who, some two decades later, would kill a guy in a nursing home!

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