If anything a celebrity does bothers you, including and especially Zayn Malik, who was in One Direction I think (straight into the toilet), you’re out of your fucking right mind.

I don’t even know a single One Direction song. Never heard them to my knowledge. I’m glad, too. I hate directions. There are more than one, two, three or four. There are 12. Actually, there are probably infinite. Christians think there are only four. They’re stupid.

Zayn Macaulay Culkin was in this band that girls have embarrassing mental reactions to and decided he wanted to leave. See, he’s probably fucked 10,000 people a week. I’m sure his dick is raw at this point, calloused and full of STDs but girls that exist in a poster-ridden bedroom think this guy is going to be there boyfriend. HE DOES NOT KNOW YOU. But he has orgies. Lots of them. Sodom and Gomorrah shit. They would have loved me in those times. My dick is like a girthy rod.

This Zayn Malik guy doesn’t look like anything impressive to me. My favorite Malak is still Darth.

So you see everything possible trend about this and little girls cry and scream about this job. He looks stupid. Nothing about him is worth getting in a fuss about anymore than some boy or girl at your own school. And if you’re older than high school and care about this, you are a sex offender.