Losing the 3D gimmick, Friday the 13th is back yet again. It’s foolish to think one could end a shitty franchise these days, simply by putting “The Final Chapter” in the title of a movie – but that’s what Hollywood chose to do in 1984 with the Friday the 13th franchise. Crack-director Joseph Zito is the man responsible this.
I hate 3D movies because most of the 3D scenes are typically forced and obvious. But these shitty movies didn’t just recently begin. 3D had a phase in the 80s too. When it came time to make a new Friday the 13th, 3 had to be 3D.
There is something unambitious about a movie that doesn’t describe itself as the best, but as “the first.” And iSteve is an actual movie that I didn’t make up (unless I’m REALLY insane). It stars Justin Long as Steve Jobs. Yes, you read that right.
Round and round and round and round…that’s how the theme to Roundhouse began. It was a staple in the early Saturday night line-up of Snick. For you babies, Snick was Nickelodeon’s special Saturday night line-up for kids like me who never went anywhere or did shit. This show really never made any sense to me but it seemed fun (when I was a mindless child).
I wonder if it will hold up with time as I watch the first full episode I’ve seen since childhood? (No)
I decided to watch Evil Dead, from 1981. The movie is very highly rated, unusual for material I look at on this site. I’m in a pissed mood though, so who knows
Oh, I’ve never seen this movie.
Out of the gate, Picard is in a dress. Some fish heads teleport in. Picard and his so…I mean Wesley talk about them like they’re not there.
Picard calls Worf “Wolf” then leaves. “Wolf” admires the race’s looks.
For a stretch of time, Arnold Scwarzenegger could make a movie, just by being in it. Some movies, like The Running Man, don’t hold up well. Predator actually remained a solid film though.
As for Predator 2…well, I don’t want to make anyone’s mind up for them (but it sucked).
RL Stine is back with a briefcase full of pages he doesn’t seem to care that get blown away. Probably something totally invaluable like…a Goosebumps TV episode script! It’s “Welcome to Camp Nightmare” and as the image suggests, it’s an episode, based on a Goosebumps book, that then had a book written based on the episode. WHAT?
Worf is constipated, even worse since no one has discovered Neelix’s cooking. Nothing makes you push the speed limits like the shits, huh Janeway? Anyway, suddenly Data doesn’t have superhuman hearing anymore and doesn’t hear Worf snarling.
Someone rufy’d Worf. Pulaski violates Starfleet law and lies to her Captain.
November 20th, 1993. Pensacola, Florida. Monotonic Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura are ready to call a night of senseless antics and questionable action. This event barely even made sense, with the goal being to team up with some of your worst enemies and win in order to advance to a battle royal. If you win THAT, out of 16 competitors, then you…get a ring. A ring on your hand, not even a wrestling ring. I don’t know what kind of ratings this event did, but I’m afraid to look because if the number is over 8 buys, I’ll be depressed that I’m human again for a month.
Pulaski and Picard (or the actors playing them) can’t stand each other, out of the gate. Riker doesn’t want Picard taking a piss without shaking it for him. Ensign Hot Chocolate Spill is back.
The cardboard-box shuttle is cleared for take off/looks nothing like it did in the shuttle bay when it launched.
Bad Girls Club has been on for TEN seasons (allegedly) and I’ve never seen one episode – until now.
I grew up loving Inspector Gadget. A lot is about to change about what I love.
I’ve read the Cuckoo Clock of Doom, which probably netted me 10 AR points.
Watching this show will not net me anything.
Ensign Gomez kills her career by throwing hot chocolate on the captain, who doesn’t even flinch, and then pressing it into the uniform, for no reason.
Guinan calls the bridge but Riker is rude. He must not have the same attraction as Ted Danson. Geordi and Gomez are drinking future water. Wesley flips out over Picard (his dad).
going deep tonight
I almost didn’t watch Rapture-Palooza because Craig Robinson, who looks like Neil Degrasse Tyson, is in it.
Unfortunately, I did.
We open to a family way too happy about moving in. The kid is already talking to the animal. Kids literally are incapable of good acting.
The dog, aptly named “Killer” (I know someone with a dog named this. Why not be unique and opt with a first name, like Serial or Axe?) goes insane.
On the second Raw after the Montreal Screw Job, a funny thing happened. Vince McMahon made himself out to be a total dunderhead, liar and idiot all in two little hours. Now, like never before, you’ll understand why.
Raw opens with Stone Cold Steve Austin – and in classic form. The crowd was still grasping how to perform a “Hell yeah” and Austin bullies JR a little too – wonder who put him up to that?
Worf trips over Data’s shit that he’s playing with behind tactical, not happy. Wesley sucks at commanding people. Data stalls forever on the holodeck before telling Captain Picard how he screwed up. Wesley interrupts Riker while he’s pussy-getting in Ten-Forward. Dr Pulaski calls Worf a coward, obviously won’t be on this show much longer.
With the success of the movie “Jaws,” it was only a matter of time before some Hollywood big-shot executive said “Well, what is even more dangerous than a shark?” and unfortunately, someone mentioned orcas.
Orcas fucking suck. Literally, orcas are hailed as having an intelligence supreme to humans and yet, they’re allowed to murder people at Sea World with not even a stiff beating or whipping. I would probably buy a ticket to Sea World on that day (orca punishment day) but I wouldn’t stay very long.
Anyway, some how this movie got made.