Someone needs to be sued over Fallout 76

I am trying to figure out how we arrived here. Fallout 4 was an incredible and memorable experience because of how fun it was. Fallout 76 is incredible and memorable, too – because of what a huge piece of shit it is.

Remember a little gem called Batman: Arkham Origins? It was a lame reskin of Batman: Arkham City. It was lazy and was actually unplayable at launch. That’s what this feels like. Origins added a really ambitious multiplayer element, which I truly enjoyed – when it worked. I was badass at it and once terrorized an entire team of real-life screaming players as Batman. I had been obsessed with the game and knew the game physics and times so well, I was picking them off and won the match. That’s a moment, despite the terrible experience of the game being too buggy to play without organizing in trophy hunter forums, was memorable.

I’m searching for something similar in Fallout 76. There was a moment myself and another guy went after a bounty player. We both tossed two grenades at once and mine detonated his so the enemy exploded into nothing. Unfortunately, just like AO, it is really hard to get to that place without a LITANY of bugs, glitches, and design flaws bordering on lazy/incompetent which ruined something.

The Good:
There’s some really neat attempts to design West Virginia. For example, they’ve really captured the precise nature of the residents in 2018 but instead of naming them as residents, they call them “Scorched.” Whatever. West Virginia is an idiot state. It’s actually the dumbest state. They export coal, which is the worst form of energy and the last one you always pick when you’re playing Civilization. Soo of course, guess who they voted for in the last election?

Donald Trump easily won West Virginia, with 68.5% of the vote, giving him his largest share of the vote in any state. – Wikipedia

Anyway, the landscapes look pretty neat in this. They’re definitely more colorful than Fallout 4, which was a complaint of mine. Unfortunately, the structures are lifted from that game so they feel very old and tired. What’s even worse is, the builder mode begins with everything LOCKED! Everything you had in Fallout 4 from the beginning is locked and has to be located, now. Or – you can purchase it in a microtransaction.

One single haircut costs about $5. A new paint of coat for your armor? About $18. You can earn these points in the game, sure. But, if that’s your excuse for charging this for stuff, you’re missing the point. Bethesda literally removed content from the past game and made us pay for it or grind to death for it in this game. That’s not cool and in fact, is bullshit.

Bugs are all over the place in this game. I’ve got the PS4 version, which I hear isn’t nearly as bad as the PC version. However, here are the errors in programming that “slipped” past the aces in the quality control department, which I suspect were from Grandma’s Boy.

  • When you unlocked a perk card you already had and doubled it from the menu, you’d return to find a third perk card ready for you, often maxing out the card (but to the extent you couldn’t even equip it yet if you don’t have more than 3 points invested in the stat)
  • The light shines through the ground. This looks terrible.
  • Everything is so fucking hard to see and dark. I’m always walking around with my light on, making the entire game green.
  • Mines detonate when thrown, sometimes. This is great in PVP. You’ll kill yourself and shut off the PS4 and go to bed, even though it’s 7.
  • The game often just stops rendering. Furthermore, sometimes, it will not load up someone in the distance or even until they’re right up on you.

“Earlier today, I was playing Fallout 76. The game loaded a group of crickets in front of me, mutated, which were 11 levels higher than me. One of them was a legendary. They murdered me twice and then fucked my body. I shut off my PS4 and went to bed. It was 3 PM.” – The Annoyed Critic

There are many more bugs but  it gets old naming them just like it gets old playing this game. However, complaining about it is kind of fun.

Another issue I have are that there are no NPCs in the game. You can’t make dialogue choices with ANYONE. This SUCKS. Your entire game quest is in holotapes and notes and guess what, excuse making suck dicks? THOSE WERE IN THE PREVIOUS GAME. So once again, they took something out and they expected us to be okay with it. I’m not. I hate this game. I hate following the overseer around. I hate getting killed by crickets.

The framerate for the game is so bad, it sometimes slows down to two or three frames per second. That’s what old timey movies were. I feel like this music should play when that’s happening.

So, we have to ask ourselves what the story was here and I think I know the answer. I don’t think this was an accident, folks. I think they picked the dumbest state as the setting for a reason: this was meant for the fans who will lap up the slop.

CONSPIRACY

West Virginia is shaped like a middle finger.

Not only that, but the median intelligence there eats crayons at 24. Furthermore, the game is named after America, a capitalistic society focused on profits (76 could also be the IQ of the target customer).

I think this was Bethesda deciding to stick it to their customers in the tradition of Murica.

The standard edition of the game was released, like all games, for $60. However, since it was incomplete, without a main story quest, and shitty, that meant the studio made more for doing a lot less.

But it gets worse.

There’s an $80 version of the idiotic game which includes, for your extra $20, NOTHING YOU WANT SO DON’T BUY IT. RED WHITE AND BLUE PAINT CHOICES. Also, a dumb in-game poster you can put in your camp. They’re charging $20 for colors.

But they went a step further.

A $200 Power Armor Edition included a garbage-looking plastic helmet, a crappy bag, a box designed to look like shit in-game as the $80 version. Some cheap ass toys, a piece of paper, and the gall not even to give you anything extra in the game like a CUSTOM SET OF ARMOR. Fuck you, Bethesda.

Now, there’s a viral video of this guy trashing a Gamestop when he didn’t get a refund for his Fallout game. This is, of course, probably fake since it is being filmed and the idiot manager answers the phone normally one second later instead of freaking out. But, if it were real, it would be stupid. Gamestop is a business. You getting mad at them and breaking the law is dumb since they’re making money off of you within the confines of the law. Don’t go there in the future. Don’t do business with them again. Move on with your life. If that’s real, that dude will be doing community service. However, it probably isn’t.

The game deserves a 2/10. I will look forward to them patching it and making it playable but I’m deleting it for now and playing something else. Indeed, I have my memorable experience.

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