Today’s edition of Stupid Bible Verses takes a deep look at Deuteronomy, one of the most evil books in the Bible. The book should be removed from the Bible, as it is as evil as anything you’d find in the Quran. If you don’t believe me, check out some of these.
If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity. Deuteronomy 25:11-12 (NIV)
Check this ignorant shit out – if two guys are fighting and the woman tries to break them up – and accidentally grabs the other man’s penis, you can cut her hand off without pity. HOW STUPID.
If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you. Deuteronomy 22:20-21 (NIV)
If you marry a woman and she isn’t a virgin, you can stone her to death unless you tell me RIGHT NOW that Deuteronomy is bullshit. Make your pick. Word of God or word of tribal man?
If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (NIV)
So if you meet a virgin and rape her, and of course you are caught, you can get by with it by paying daddy fifty shekels of silver. You also get to marry the woman, who will I’m sure be happy to be married to her rapist. Also, you can never get a divorce.
they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.” Mark 16:18 (NIV)
Bible believers can drink deadly poison and it will not hurt them at all!!! Also, they will all have healing hands!!! And yep, snake handling is in the Bible.
But that doesn’t mean that the law has lost its force. It is easier for heaven and earth to disappear than for the smallest point of God’s law to be overturned. Luke 16:17 (NLV)
Just wanted to include this anytime some dumbass says the Old Law was lifted. No, only blood sacrifice was lifted.
And the pig, though it has a divided hoof, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. Leviticus 11:7 (NIV)
Yep, if you believe homosexuality is sin, you’re probably getting it from the same book that says eating bacon, sausage or ham is against God’s will. That’s what “unclean for you” means. So the Muslims are following the Bible better than you.
They answered him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?” John 8:33 (NIV)
Yep, the Jews say they were never slaves. That means they weren’t slaves in Egypt and you can shut up about it.
More to come soon!
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Thanks for posting this, I love idiotic bible verses.
I love people who claim that God is a fairy tale, then spend their whole lives hating a fictitious character that according to them doesn’t even exist. Whats more crazy, believing in someone that you believe exist but really doesnt? or hating someone that by your own volition doesn’t even exit? Your hatred bears witness that God is real, no one can hate someone so much that isn’t real.
I’m just posting Bible verses. I don’t hate anyone in the Bible because most aren’t even real. I do hate the liars that put this shit together. Also, I don’t think hating the idea of a barbaric, rape-sanctioning, child-abusing, murdering and confusing God is a bad thing. I think it shows wisdom and concern for humanity. When you fear a story that tribal peoples cobbled together thousands of years ago – one that doesn’t stack up to what we know about modern science and the universe – you end up discriminating against people and treating people bad for NO REASON. When you at least look at the Bible verses that don’t make any sense and ask yourself why it doesn’t stack up, you can help possibly improve the world with morals and ideas that are from the 21st century instead of the 1st century.
un-huh..
This is why I hate arguing with “believers.” I can put my heart and brain into a post and make it ass kickingly awesome and you’ll reply with some dumb shit, always. Always.
“I do hate the liars that put this shit together. Also, I don’t think hating the idea of a barbaric, rape-sanctioning, child-abusing, murdering and confusing God is a bad thing”
hmm I wonder why no believers wanna argue with you?
Jesus is the only way, you know it in your heart, he’s the light, he’s the truth, there’s no other God but the God of the Bible, the creator of the heaven and the earth. Jesus the Son of God died for your sins so that we you could have eternal life, destroying the power of Satan that now grips you and causes you to hate God with all your heart. Even know you are overwhelmed with anger just reading this, it has nothing to do with wisdom and concern for humanity, you don’t care about humanity, you don’t care about scientific facts, you don’t care about the truth, your just blinded by evil hate for the anything that points to God, because your part of the world that belongs to Satan.
wow Nathaniel. that last post of yours is kind of hard to swallow. I would sum the argument up like this. we have the proven time and again that the world works by natural laws. big organizations like the catholic church don’t even argue about it any more. evolution has a massive amount of supporting evidence. cosmology, archaeology, geology, anthropology, and add other ologies as necessary. the entire foundation of what we know is represented by an massive amount of information that has been tested and quantified rejected, rethought and refined till we can say with some certainty that it is true.
With Christianity we have only the bible. there is nothing outside the bible to support the bible. it exists alone in its deficiency. the oldest epistles were written 30 years of so after the alleged death of a man god. and they are still being modified even today. so tell me again how do I know that this dusty old book holds all the secrets of the entirety of existence and tell why I should believe it.