Here we go again. Something I picked up and was all about at first. Then, little by little, it happened. The cracks started showing. The flaws? More and more evident. And it finally happened. I admitted to myself that I was going to platinum the game and sell it.
You’d almost guarantee that I would be slamming this movie harder than King Kong Bundy slammed Little Beaver at Wrestlemania 3. But you’re in for a surprise, folks! I actually half ass enjoyed this thing. A few spoilers are ahead but I won’t ruin the movie for anyone.
So the movie starts with Shaggy playing a WWE game that isn’t made by THQ, because they’re enjoying it. Also, it’s faster than slow molasses, so again, not THQ. Cena loses to Sin Cara, which would never occur.
Slamboree 93 was the very first in a series of 7 years worth of Slamboree (the plural of Slamboree). The poster for the event doesn’t show any of the matches, because they weren’t just bad – they were booked with no wrestling fan’s interest in mind. Davey Boy Smith, in the main event? I guess because he had headlined WWF Summerslam 92 (against Bret Hart in ENGLAND), WCW thought he would be a good main eventer in…Atlanta. Schiavone interrupts the announcer to open the show! The legends are already in the ring! We see Verne Gagne who, some two decades later, would kill a guy in a nursing home!
The subject of armageddon, the end times, rapture or eschatology are always a true interest to me. The Day After is an 80s look at what nuclear war could, at any day (including today), do to society – fuck it up bad. But this movie is more than that. A lot of people say it is what helped to bring an end to the arms race. 100 million people watched it on ABC, making it the most watched movie on television. And even Mr. Rogers had to get on TV and calm kids down. Probably the stupid ones. I hope you’ll watch this movie and consider the implications of allowing nuclear proliferation (including by allowing Iran to become nuclear). Here is my fair review of it.
This game is boring and sucks. You can’t even see the characters – and that’s when I’m sitting 3 feet from a 55 inch LED TV that is giving me a tan from being so bright. The default weapon, a “rifle” that is single fire and weaker than a nerf gun, is more like a shitty pistol. Oh don’t worry though – you can HOLD DOWN to charge up a shot. Yeah, I remember when I was hunting once and held down the trigger to charge up a shot before firing at the elk…wait, that’s right – GUNS DON’T DO THAT.
Wrestlemania 6 was one of my all-time favorite Wrestlemanias. It had a magnificent main event that was built up and hyped to perfection. It’s the wrestling fans equivalent of a perfect T-bone steak. I’m a vegetarian – but I’ll not be for a good T-bone!
So anyway, why would I want to review this event (the Vudu version)? It sucked ass.
I got the platinum trophy on Hitman: Absolution pretty fast – not because it is a good game but because I wanted to get done playing it and never touch it again. I hated this game and instead of reviewing it, I decided to write some news stories based on how things might unfold in the Hitman: Absolution style of reality.