To anyone involved in Superman 64 – fuck you forever.


I wasn’t that old. I was a big Superman fan from an early age. Superman 64 comes out and I get it and what am I treated to? The most broken videogame I ever played up until that time, arguably since too. $60 – flushed.

At first, it almost seemed fun because you could fly around and that’s literally IT. That’s where the fun ended. You had to fly through stupid race-courses in the air. That’s what I want to do, play a time-trial/racing game. How did you guys guess? Psychic fucks.

The story blew a bag of horse dicks too. You were Superman, sucked into a bad graphics universe (that explains the bad graphics, just not the bad story and everything else). You gotta fight Brainiac and a load of other dummies, really it didn’t matter because you’d get a few steps into the game and fall through the floor into INFINITY NOTHING. It actually was the source of many nightmares, for me. There is no getting into the game because it crashes, glitches you through a floor or screws up some other way anytime you get anything going into it.

Why would you do that? Programmers, I’m talking to you. Why release that? Or the studio. Why? Why allow this? What were you thinking? Fuck customers? That’s what this felt like.

I wish I could sell the people behind this game a house or a car and it be as functional as this game, but either way would probably be fatal and thus, illegal. However, it was (and is) legal for game makers to screw over customers.


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