Time for a new series here on AnnoyedCritic.com. We are using and frankly abusing phrases to the extent that it makes me want to gouge my ears out and die. Let’s all recognize a few of these, either before we say them or as they are in our vocabulary, and eliminate them from existence.
Before we begin, it is important to understand why we should avoid using cliches, metaphors and what I like to call “crutch phrases” that serve no purpose other than to continue a conversation without actually thinking of something worth saying. When you break it down like that, it is in reality just uttering noise and that’s all I actually hear when people say these things. Feel free to comment with your own that you would like added to a future list.
- To tell you the truth – Oh thanks for not telling me a lie. I appreciate that.
- Seriously? – No. I was just joking. Yeah. Seriously.
- Are you kidding? – I’m not 12 so no, I am not.
- Honestly… – As if you might have begun by saying “dishonestly.”
- Guess what? – No, this isn’t a game show. You have something to tell me? Just say it.
- You know what? – If I did, you wouldn’t be telling me.
- Yes and No – Just don’t even answer the question if this is all you have, indecisive idiot.
- At the end of the day – Dumb ass statement. You just wasted 6 words.
- Anywho – Completely stupid.
- The reason being – Just 3 words, no point.
- I’m not going to lie – Again, thanks for not lying.
- With all due respect – Something people say before being disrespectful. It actually offends me more than someone saying the same thing without it.
- Just saying – Could be the worst on the list. You don’t need to say this shit.
- I, personally… – WHO ELSE would you be speaking for, stupid?
- YOLO – Fuck you.
- Cray Cray – I cringed typing it.
- Selfie – Unless you’re 7, dump this shit
- I know, right? – Something someone says usually before you even finish your last word. Well if you know – why don’t I just stop talking?
- Good morning – You can get killed saying something like this in some of the places I’ve worked.
- I’m not even joking – No one thought you were.
- Basically – Unnecessary word.
- Give 110% – Impossible.
- You know what I mean? – If I don’t, I’ll ask.
“going forward” – Corporate wonk idiots trying to sound impressive while referencing the future. The phrase “in the future” used to serve the same purpose before 2006.
“moving forward” – See above.
“think outside the box” – Kind of the “going forward” of the 1990s. This one was used by corporate asswipes and other assorted douchebags to urge others to defy convention in order to solve a problem. So, to simply advise “use your imagination” would lack the necessary drama sought by these pinheads.
“POTUS” – It’s “The President”, you POS. Love it when hipdorks use this nation-specific term in a domestic context – almost always unnecessary.
“SCOTUS” – It used to be referred to as “The Supreme Court” before the Cult of the Cute.
“et cetera, et cetera …” – I got you the on the first one.
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