The 1997 King of the Ring was trash.

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The 1997 King of the Ring was built around one match: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels. The WWF title match was almost an afterthought. So, of course, it would suck!

Vince McMahon and Jim Ross are on commentary, and Vince motions for the camera man to look at all of the international tables but he doesn’t – so Vince stands up and walks him there! Carlos Cabrera is highly amused by the excited chairman! Vince informs us that it’s time for Ahmed “Get In Your Face” Johnson is on his way out, COVERED IN BABY OIL. Ahmed faces the MAN. I’m talking about the guy that runs the joint, Hunter Hearst Helmsley. He’s also coming out to Beethoven’s 5th, I believe, now. JR tells us Ahmed Johnson is a member of the Bloods! That’s a new tidbit for me, and a lot edgier than just a few months back. As I mentioned in the last In Your House, a change was noticeably in the air. Ahmed military presses HHH, and asks “How do you like that shit?” Well, Ahmed, I like it. He seems a little angry, which I always look for from the loser. Some of these grits think it’s real. Triple H gets a quick Pedigree in and wins!

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Hellbroke Lucy – Little Known Facts

I had hoped that I had put the chapter of knowing this lousy human being to rest, but recently, as I was sitting around literally on the phone with my mother, Steve McClung AKA Hellbroke Lucy called me, once again, on my office phone this time that rings to my house. Anytime I block him, he calls from a new number or calls me on a business line. It never ends.

So since this idiot will not leave me alone – and our local police are too lazy to handle it – anytime he tries to contact me again, it will result in something new being done by me online that reveals who he is to the public.

Today, I present some little known facts I was unwillingly subjected to, often in loud, drunken rants, while I lended this human a room to get on his feet (he is unable to do this, as he is mentally deficient).


Robbed a convenience store with a gun; convicted felon. Can’t vote can’t own guns.

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Brags about being in a relationship with two women at once. It isn’t so much that he was, although it is still a little odd, but that he feels the need to boast about this.

So narcissistic that he believes he has a “gaydar” and should out gay people who are “in.” By calling him a “cocksucker.” Has no personal sexual inhibitions.

Was allegedly once jacking off on bread in front of a 10 year old. He discusses the accusation on recording.

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Fawns over every woman he sees. Out loud, he will begin fantasizing. It is repulsive and I had to ask him to stop. He couldn’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to hear a gross desperate toothless man fawn over teenagers.

When I told him he couldn’t use my house as a shag pad to bring all of these women he drooled over back to my guest bed and “fuck their brains out” – as he once told a woman over the phone – and he said “I have to get my natural satisfaction from somewhere. “ and looked at me suggestively. I told him he could forget about that, and then the projecting-bastard accuses me of being gay.

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I just want to mention, I hate people who bring up sexuality. Shut the fuck up about it unless you are talking about YOUR OWN. I love gay people but I hate pieces of homophobic shit like this low-life!

Doesn’t bathe. Wash cloths only.

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Stated that his wife said he beat her and he “didn’t remember it” but if she said he did, he did. He’s a wife beater.

Stated that his mother sexually fondled him as a child in the bathtub and he remembered it and remembered liking it. Wtf why tell me that

Claims trying to work his way out of Arkansas. He had a job! Had $800 on his pay card and $200 in food stamps. Overdosed on Tylenol PM (almost a whole bottle according to the man renting to him) and hard liquor. He was in the ICU for a few days and then went to a mental hospital for about a week. His job fired him for no showing for a week. But he’s “trying to work his way out.”

He’s got zero coordination, trips over everything and walks around with the prison yard shuffle, scooting his feet.

Says Barack Obama should never have been elected because he’s black and the country wasn’t ready.

He’s about 5’6″, fatigues out every 10 or 15 minutes, physically minor.

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Talked constantly about a “heist” or robbery or burglary of a huge amount of money – from a big company that wouldn’t miss it of course – so he could hide and never want to work again. This guy will not work.

Drank daily while he was here. Lied about his problems with drinking to me. Then lied about lying. Would become violently angry when I wouldn’t take him to buy alcohol (didn’t help him much, because I still wouldn’t take him. He is physically nothing to me. He would probably die by accident and not make me feel guilt over it.)

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Wrestlemania XX – My front-row perspective

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I decided a while back that I should review events I was actually at. This is the beginning of that series. The most prominent event I attended was a little thing you may have heard of. I don’t know. May have heard of it…

WRESTLEMANIA XX.

I not only was there, but I was front row. $8,200 for two tickets. Seated next to Los Lonely Boys (guests of Stone Cold). I’ll add this unique perspective throughout the event.

Out of the gate, the theme song is very early 2000 – screaming, murder vocals. The show opens with Harlem Boys Choir singing Flag America 9/11 Patriotism or some song. We were all into it back then and of course, we visited Ground Zero. It was boring. At the end of the boring kids’ song, we see a different Freedom Tower. By the way, if you want to see me, there’s a big red head guy front row and I’m the guy next to him. We were huge.

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Monday Night Raw’s second episode was bad.

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The second episode of Raw was January 18, 1993 and was the lead-in to the Royal Rumble. Makes sense that they’ll BARELY mention it! The siren is going off. It’s Vince, a microphone-less Rob Bartlett and Macho Man Savage, who gets NAILED by Repo Man just as he is about to talk. It is chaos from the get-go! Then our sick ass open hits.

Terrific Terry Taylor comes out next. He has trouble getting passed the model (not Rick Martel). He will face MISTER….PERFECT. (Howard Finkel impression). Bartlett no sells the seriousness of Savage’s attack, asking him if he saw his car. (#10). A We Want Flair chant. Heenan calls in to tell “Ron Bartlett” off. A “This match sucks” chant!!! “Uh oh!” Bartlett says! (#11). Flair comes out to the crowd’s delight. Vince calls the Perfectplex “The Superplex!”

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The very first episode of Monday Night Raw – WOW.

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If you look back at the first episode of Raw, it is a different time for sure. However, it also has enough fuck ups in it to be hard to watch without a groan factory in your living room.

The very first episode of Monday Night Raw opens with Sean Mooney outside of the Manhattan Center. Bobby Heenan runs up and is like hey who are you I need to get in. Mooney is like no. Rob Bartlett replaced you.

Rob. Fucking. Bartlett.

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