Great Value is Walmart’s brand that they sell next to competitors products, at a few cents less but with 90% less quality. I hate it even though some – SOME of their stuff is ok. I am creating a list to keep up with the Great Value products you do NOT want.

Paper Plates – insanely flimsy plates under even a small amount of humidity or moisture. Absolute shit.

Soda – Fuck I can’t finish a Great Value soda. If you can condition yourself to accept that, drink water dude.

Toilet Paper – It sucks about like you’d expect. They introduced some newer, better versions and they tear up too easily, too. Charmin Basic, which is AWFUL, is better. I only wipe my pucker hole with wet wipes. Great Value actually has good wet wipes.

Black Beans – Great Value beans smell like they were canned at a shit factory. It stinks like a fresh dump. I’ve opened cans of their beans side by side with Bush’s and there is a clear quality difference.

Milk – I don’t know why, but something smells bad.

Hemorrhoidal Cream – I ahem…I know a guy who told me this one. They cheaped up the applicator to where it would rip your asshole lining out when you stuck it in. Plus, the tube got cheapo’ed and it was impossible to hold, which meant you got to play hit-the-hemorrhoid with the fucking applicator stick while squeezing it. Fuck! That hurt! I mean…it sounded like it would hurt, you know.