I went into Hardcore Henry hoping for something unique and different and exciting but all I got was motion sickness and a headache.

This is an action experience movie more than a story. Henry is an android or cyborg without a memory, a voice, or an interesting character. He’s fighting Akon the musician for some reason and he has the Force.

The movie is 100 PERCENT in first person. It’s all shot on a GoPro attached to someone’s head. Problem with this is, Henry looks at the fucking ground like an insecure child half of the time.

I genuinely feel bad for anyone who watched this movie on the big screen because it was almost unbearable on my iPad. During the last action scene, I actually said out loud “I mean this is unacceptable.” I couldn’t even enjoy brutal murder because he was shaking like Michael J Fox.

So when I say the movie has very little story, it is not an exaggeration. This is like a simple video game that you pick up, skip all the cinematic scenes, and play.

The villain is a foreign man who seems to be albino or just super blonde but it plays to the general xenophobia of American viewers. Think about it. To make a villain in a movie, make him look different and foreign! That’s all it takes to be the bad guy to Americans.

The fart I just let out sounded like a weather balloon full of oatmeal being deflated.

The movie ends like this, I’m not even joking, with Henry pulling his intestine or something out and killing the evil fuck with his own guts. He then kills the bitch.

An interesting experience but yeah, you’ll hate it. 3/10