If you couldn’t tell from the title, I am NOT a Renee Young fan. Renee was recently promoted to commentary by the WWE and has been a backstage interview head for months now. Why though? She’s terrible.

I could sit here and name a ton of reasons why I think Renee is awful at her job but…you know what, let’s do that.

1. She has an annoying voice.

Renee has a whiney little girl’s voice, most likely because she is a whiney little girl. On commentary, she screams “OOOH” and points out the obvious, adding no intellectuality to the broadcast other than to tell me what my eyes are telling me. I understand commentators must sometimes say what is happening, but you can do it in animated ways that are useful to someone besides a deaf cat whose owners aren’t ready to euthanize it yet.

Her commentary in general comes across as out of place. With male voices, or assertive female voices, you can usually drown them out and focus on the action. With a squeeky, high-pitched little girl voice like Renee, it sounds like your little sister is in the room trying to play and beg for attention.

2. She stares at the wrestlers like she wants to screw them

During her interview segments, which I also don’t like, she always looks at the wrestlers like she wants to ride their meat. I personally think that’s because she does. I’ve read several stories online about how Renee is a slut and sleeps around, so this doesn’t really surprise me. But watch her anytime a wrestler walks away – she looks at them lustfully. It gets old.

When she first started Roman Reigns openly flirted with her in segments calling her “babydoll” which made me gag. I’m sure he made her gag too. She is now linked to Dean Ambrose, not shockingly, because a ho can’t keep from hooking up with co-workers. Gross.

 

3. She is (probably) a slut

A former co-worker of hers allegedly said that she slept with a load of athletes in her Canadian-media job to get interviews. Why do I believe this? Because since she has been in WWE, she openly told Roman Reigns on camera that he looked great “as always.” Now, she is with Ambrose – a grit, by the way. And I’m sure that is just the beginning. I also believe it because eyes don’t lie and as I stated in Number 2, she looks at the wrestlers like she wants them to mount her. There are a flood of rumors on the net about her being a ho-bag and I don’t doubt it. Rumors can’t be false, right? By the way, the Bellas are into scat.

4. She is immature (and needs to can that crap immediately)

No one, lest of all me, wants to see a little kid on television acting like she is a grown-up. Renee, in a very prestigious position, acts like an immature little girly girl. This is OLD.

No one wants to see you behaving like a child because frankly, that is how you are perceived anyway and most would rather forget that WWE brass has allowed a stupid kid to commentate their shows. A lot of lonely Internet marks call her “cute and bubbly” but that isn’t an apt description for a broadcaster. She should be professional, informed, well-studied and communicative. Be cute and bubbly on your own time – you’re here to call the show, not be a part of it.

5. She is fat

Now in recent months, I’ve noticed this has been cut-back dramatically, so I am guessing someone got to her and said to work out the flappy arms. But I noticed fast that Renee was chubby. Perhaps more precisely, it would be described as “not well-toned.” See, in a world of people who are ripped and in the best shape of anyone on the planet, someone who is too lazy to pick up a few 10 pound dumbbells every other day stands out. Little immature girls are often lazy, unmotivated and under the belief that they can coast-by on their looks. Someone clearly told Renee to up her workouts and this has been reduced. Still, how long until she packs on the pounds again?

6. She is not a natural blonde and girls who bleach their hair blonde are desperate for attention.

Girls that are, say, brunettes and go blonde are doing it for one reason – they want attention. Usually, it is because guys notice blondes (in their minds) more than other hair-colors and they believe they can get that attention too! But mostly, that attention only comes from stupid guys who aren’t worth your time to begin with. These are the same girls who always bitch about “never being able to find the right guy!” when they’re bringing that misfortune on themselves by trying to appeal to the worst of the male-crowd.

Once, a girl heard me talking about how blondes who aren’t natural and color their hair are only after attention. She began disagreeing. Her hair color? Blonde. Her natural hair color? Not blonde. Surprise.

7. Her last name is Paquette

What a stupid name.

8. She begins each broadcast with the annoying “Hal-low”

Noticed this one from early on with her work on WWE Classics on Demand. Renee begins with the childish “HAL-LOW” on virtually every broadcast and, again, while it has been toned down considerably, I still cringe when I hear it. If I wanted to listen to idiot girls talk, I would go to a club where everyone is drunk because they can’t stand living in their own skin. I don’t.

---

The only reason Renee has such popularity amongst the Internet wrestling community is because most of them have never and will never date a beautiful chick. As someone who has many times, I can tell you that looks are of such little importance in any relationship, that it almost isn’t in my top 5 of important must-haves (but it is, because I don’t want to date someone who is fat and gross). Intelligence, personality, good conversationalist, sense of humor and wit are FAR more important to me than if some chick has blonde hair and big boobs. Although I like the latter two just fine, they’re not going to make me ooh and ahh over some chick, pretending that she is something that she isn’t – in this case, good on commentary. The first few episodes of the Monday Night War that she did with (awful) Matt Striker were the pits. She and Matt would ruin upcoming segments, so that no surprise was left for fans who haven’t seen the material in years. Aside from that, she just sounded like a high-pitched-voiced teenager and I don’t want that with my wrestling.

Lose this chick, Leveque. She isn’t any good and makes Mike Adamle look like John Madden.