Tag Archives: WWE

5 WWF Stars that, in their time, would have won a UFC TITLE

Posted by god on

With the UFC only becoming a true avenue for mainstream talent recently, a lot of past tough guys in pro-wrestling almost make you think “what if” in a different universe, they had become MMA talent instead. Here is a personal list of 5 I can think of, off the top of my head, who I believe would have had great success! in the UFC.

download

Kurt Angle
Anyone that is an Olympic Gold Medalist is instant contender for UFC gold. Henry Cejudo comes to mind as hopefully, the future man to dethrone Demetrious Johnson. Out wrestled Lesnar. What’s that tell you?

Continue reading →

Andre the Giant sucked

Posted by god on

tumblr_lr7rhjiMh41qis6pso10_1280

Andre the Giant was the worst wrestler ever. He was also gross and from what I heard, he wasn’t very nice either. McMahon may worship him but I think he was sick.

First off, you know he couldn’t reach his butt to properly wash it. I also heard Bret Hart say someone rammed Ric Flairs head into his ass in the shower and his head came out brown. Flairs was a human Q tip, on a person who never had cleaned their ears. Ohf I want to throw up now.

Andre was a dick to fans according to a drunken Iron Sheik. He said that when Andre was a baby face, fans would ask for his autograph and he would ignore them completely or say “Get the fuck out of here.” I’d say “Listen man you might win a teeth-having contest with a barracuda but you ain’t shit to me” before throwing my drink in his face and running away, because that’s his weakness. Moving.

Continue reading →

Bad Blood 2003 was fucking weird.

Posted by god on
This poster helps confuse things, since Goldberg and HHH didn't begin their feud until later this year.

This poster helps confuse things, since Goldberg and HHH didn’t begin their feud until later this year.

Decided to review Bad Blood 2003, because why not? The theme for the event was the worst song ever. Headstrong by Trapt. I knew a dude that played that around girls. Idiot. This was also at a time when Stone Cold and Eric Bischoff were co-GMs, so we see their picture randomly during the open.

The Dudley Boys open. DVon has a Gatorade style shirt on. DVon has been wondering why his white brother has been telling him to get the tables…they face Rodney Mack and Christoper Nowinski. Mack is managed by Teddy Long, who will use his theme song forever, despite Mack’s short tenure. The crowd is actually into this and chants Harvard sucks at Nowinski. I am drooling randomly. Why does Bubba grab his dick when hitting people? DVon gets hung up on the tables shit and Nowinski pins Bubba with a cheap shot!!

So we will have a redneck triathlon between Bischoff and Austin. They must do a pie eating contest. It is, however, a pussy eating contest according to Stone Cold. First tho, a burping contest. They’re just doing sound effect burps and it’s dumber than fuck. Terri Hard Nips Runnels holds the microphone. This ends up being just stupid if not gross. Burps are just mouth farts and I don’t want to hear or breathe air from your guts.

Continue reading →

In Your House 14: Revenge of the Taker was a big clusterfuck.

Posted by god on

In-Your-House-142

In Your House: Revenge of the Taker followed the worst performing Wrestlemania in history, 13. “WALCOME EVERYONE!” Vince screams. The trio of Vince, JR and King Jerry Lawler are on commentary.

Uggghhhhhhh WHAT A RUSH! The Legion of Doom faces Bulldog and Owen. Smith and Hart use Bret’s theme, as the Hart Foundation had just recently reformed as a heel stable. “Hey Ross, you ever stop to think and forget to start again?” King begins the night with. LOD win the belts by pinning the wrong man. The decision gets reversed and the match continues. The commentators missed every second of it while arguing. Vince pretty much says it twice. He calls for the replay three times. The LOD hits the Doomsday Device on Owen and Bret Hart is late running out. The referee has to stall and finally counts so Bret can cause the DQ. When the finish gets botched, it’s a big deal. This show will see even more of this tonight.

We see Sunny and Brian Pillman basically fucking on the Superstar line. I’m sure they really did hook up, considering Sunny will finger-fuck herself on Skype for a $20 in 2015. Sick of Sunny jokes yet? I’m not!

Continue reading →

In Your House 13: Final Four wasn’t very good.

Posted by god on

50% of the poster didn't wrestle on the show.

50% of the poster didn’t wrestle on the show.

In Your House: Final Four was the road to Wrestlemania 13 and was an effort to get the product moving in a firm direction, thanks to the fickleness of HBK “losing his smile.” At least he found his cunt.

The show opens with a shitty pyramid logo and football music. Someone runs into the camera while JR and King are speaking. King points at them! No Vince on commentary tonight. We are in Chattanooga, TN for this event.

We begin with Wildman Marc Mero against Leif Cassidy. Mero seems more aggressive than recently. Sable has glasses on, like the time they were going with a domestic abuse storyline for a week before dropping it. Mero wins with his shooting star press, called “The Wild Thing.” King says his motto is “Never hit a woman with glasses. Always use your fist.” He placed third for mayor in Memphis after this, FYI.

Continue reading →