Review: Are You Afraid of the Dark – The Tale of the Hungry Hounds



We open with a person barking, one of my least favorite noises. You’d be glared at by a menacing man if you did that around me. Kristen brings her hound dog Elvis. The black girl with her hat on is sporting a Tom Selleck mustache.


The Tale of the Hungry Hounds! This episode will feature pretty girl from Salute Your Shorts, I think. Maybe not. Her and her 90s friend are fucking around in the attic. They find a big chest.

The girl carries carrots around randomly. She gets near the horse and her stupid ass mom honks the horn and scares it, nearly killing her daughter. The mom blames her daughter. I’d have chewed her ass.

They open the chest because the ghost gives them the combination through the Ouija board. She finds her aunts outfit for riding horses and puts it on. She goes into a trance and starts walking stoically toward a graveyard.

I guess the hounds ate a coyote. She drones on about it, boring me. Then her ghost stable keeper shows up. They get locked in the barn and the possessed idiot let’s some beagles out that are harmless. The girl sells it like she’s scared.

Pam rides off in a horse and the 90s girl runs back up the steps into the fake attic. Pam remembers nothing and even gets to take riding lessons. Then the nerdy one pours a teaspoon of water on the campfire and it goes out.

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