Terminator Genisys takes the last shit perhaps ever on this franchise. Once great movies now are at the lowest level in the scale of B movies.

First, Arnold really sucks. In this one, he gets his ugly Mexican maid pregnant. Wait, that’s real life. In this one, a bunch of new, young actors take over for everyone except Arnold’s terminators. They go back in time to the first movie, but as it unfolds and we don’t see Bill Paxton, old ass present day Arnold shows up and saves one of the gang members lives who goes on to major in astronomy instead of breaking beer bottles on telescopes. Then, a totally not Linda Hamilton Sarah Conner shows up to save Kyle Reese. They interact like immature kids. NOTHING like the first movie characters. Old Terminator cracks jokes. He does the rabid dog grin.

And a T1000 is there. He’s way better and throws himself at people now. But Old Terminator kills him with an acid fatality.

Sarah hugs Arnold and he acts like a computer. He’s been with her for 29 years. In T2, a day and he “knows now why you cry.” These movies never make any sense. By the way, they totally ignore Salvation and T3. Those didn’t happen, now. Neither did the TV show that sucked.

Genisys sucks as a premise and is only an operating system that has cloud sync!!! LOL. But everyone is acting like they’re all downloading it at launch and they’re carrying around devices with a countdown clock on them! A child wrote this.

Terminators spend a lot of inefficient time talking to each other. Skynet is Doctor Who and assimilated John Conner. He asks Kyle and Sarah to join him for like no reason. It’s idiotic. They refuse instantly and he and the Old Terminator do shitty combat. They can’t fight worth a fuck. Just twist someone’s head off man you’re super strong. John Connah gets stuck in an MRI machine. Thankfully, radiologists go through hours upon hours to, according to this movie, turn a dial to “Maximum Power” which is enough to pull John Conner robot into it. He’s like a computer virus antiChrist. Genisys is described, in a forehead slapping moment, as “the ultimate killer app.” 1 billion preorders are made for it. Again, it has no purpose. Cloud computing.

This movie is a comedy.

When the commercials showed Arnold jumping out of the helicopter, it ruined a major portion of the movie’s last action sequence.

I was so bored with the movie by this point, I can barely remember what happened. I know that Sarah and Kyle ended up living and Kyle went and talked to himself I think or maybe Sarah did and I don’t know, probably about 900 guns went off. I swear more rounds are fired in this movie than any I have seen recently. Hollywood is going to have to reel that in. It needs to mean something and not be background noise.

This movie gets a 3/10 from me. I’d rate it as the third best Terminator. Terminator 2: Judgment Day was the best, followed by The Terminator. At that point, the quality drops to this movie (T5?) and then drops to Terminator 3. Finally, Terminator Salvation, which was a horrible fucking movie, takes the cake as the worst one.