I hate Carl’s Jr.’s TV commercials

Looks like Jenny on crack
Looks like Jenny on crack. Also, she’s getting ready to throw up after the photo.

Carls Jr, which I wouldn’t eat at and never have, has unveiled a new commercial where a super hot 10/10 model (that probably has a 1/10 cow-pussy from being fucked so much) eats a 5 pound hamburger and talks about how all-natural it is. It actually made me less likely to buy from Carl’s Jr.

For starters, a girl with brown eyebrows and blonde hair is telling me about how she is going all-natural. That, in itself, made me question everything about this commercial.

Here it is, watch it:

Now, the “all-natural” that they’re talking about is the model, Charlotte McKinney, walking nude around a market with a bunch of ugly people staring at her.One man loses control of a water hose, simulating the idea that he ejaculated upon sight of this woman. She finally parades in front of the camera in a size-toddler bikini as her jiggly, fake titties bounce around for escape.

Not-at-all natural
Not-at-au naturale

Folks, you can never sleep with a girl that is even close to this hot if you’re eating at Carl’s Jr. This chick wouldn’t be caught dead eating there and probably hasn’t eaten a wedge of lettuce the entire week. She works out and starves herself, that’s it. Then, she dyes her hair and burns books because they make her feel stupid, since she can’t read.

Also, why would someone eating a Carl’s Jr. burger give a fuck about the murdered animal they’re consuming being grass-fed. Are we Hindu’s now and worried about coming back as a cow?

Forget about the Atkins diet, I said! Forget about it! Photo from KarmaLampoon.com
Forget about the Atkins diet, I said! Forget about it! Photo from KarmaLampoon.com

Odds are, folks eating fast food don’t give two iotas about organic food or anything health-related. The people who usually care about their health don’t eat at fast-food burger joints!

Sorry - this would never happen.
Sorry – this would never happen.

This dumbass marketing plan is, of course, culminating in the airing of said-commercial during the Super Bowel…I mean Bowl.

Beautiful, skinny people or physically-fit people don’t eat giant hamburgers from Carl’s Jr. or any other fast food place. If you want to be good looking, don’t go to Carl’s Jr.’s’s. Go to the gym, starve yourself and stick a finger down your throat after you decide to eat. That’s how it’s done.


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