Resident Evil Revelations was terrible


A lot of people are getting excited about the upcoming Resident Evil Revelations 2 title but I have no clue why. The first game blew. It was almost (not quite) as bad as Resident Evil Operation Raccoon Shitty.

You would think bringing Chris and Jill back together could be an exciting premise but that is all I found this title to be. An exciting premise. The offline mode/story is the same as online, exactly. A bunch of levels/episodes with three different difficulties. Don’t worry – they actually are just scaling the levels of the monsters without actually showing it to you, so after running out of ammo on the first zombie, on hard, then knifing it for 15 minutes straight to kill it, I had to concede to the truth that this is only playable on New Game Plus.

Online is the same fucking way but just blatant. You play from level 1 to 50, getting the same guns but with different levels/stats along the way. You will be so sick of the game by the time you reach level 50, as you literally grind the story over and over, and it isn’t very good. Go into room as a bunch of enemies spawn, or a big enemy spawns, kill for a while, then go to point B and do it again.

There are a bunch of stupid ass outfits to unlock for online, as well as characters. Play as a pirate or as Hunk or hey, as fucking no one because this is a tired game.

Revolutionary new villain -  a wad of silly putty with a mouth.
Revolutionary new villain – a wad of silly putty with a mouth.

Eventually, you come to poorly designed enemies like blob monsters, ugly white visually unstimulating zombies and a giant turtle monster. Oh, don’t forget the big mutant chainsaw fatass melty crab arm monster, with spiked hooves.

Tha hell is that?
Tha hell is that?

I don’t like Resident Evil to be like this. Don’t show me damage numbers and don’t use that formula to lazily increase difficulty. But hey, the next one already looks to be the same, and to be released like it is a Telltale Game in episodes. Should be total shit.

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