Oz the Great and Powerful sucks folks. It’s a simpleton script with boring, uncreative situations and the most obvious CG ever. I want to know who is getting rich off of these big special effects budgets.

The movie begins in postage stamp resolution (which is what movies were shot in for some reason until the 2010s.) We already know Oz is a shyster. If you’ve never see the original 1933 movie, this serves as a simpleton prequel. Otherwise, this doesn’t even have any real suspense to it.

I also want to point out that if you’ve seen any of the presentations of Wicked, you will be sorely disappointed by this weak story.

Mila Kunis is in this. She’s not attractive. James Franco looks stoned throughout.

Some of the shots in the movie was included solely for the reason of promoting the Temple Run version of the game.

We see the home of the tea party. Destroyed.

When the wicked witch finally shows up, she looks stupid. Mila Kunis’ voice spoils it. It sounds like Meg the entire time.

The Wizard decides to leave but he packs his multi-colored chain of handkerchiefs, metal rings and other useless objects. And I’m still not sure how seeing a girl in a wheel chair beg for the ability to walk is supposed to make me enjoy a movie. But maybe the little crippled kids enjoyed it when he glued the porcelain girl’s legs back together and then remembered that can’t happen for them. Nice move, Disney.

The Wizard jumps at the chance to sink into the poppy fields, hopeful to snag a little opium out of all of this.

The movie gets by on its laurels of being set in the cool Oz universe. The black midget with an attitude shows back up and threatens to break the Wizard’s nose. “Fuck you midget. How you gonna do that from down there?” I would have told him, before kicking him in the air for a minute like a hackie sack.

Bruce Campbell!!

The movie goes on to do the big finish as all movies do. And yellow teeth Franco kisses hottie Glenda. Not something that people will be talking about in 100 years, like, say, The Wizard of Oz.