Alien Abduction is yet another found-footage movie where everyone is dying or being mind-raped or having their bodies snapped in half, but there is oddly one person who thinks it is still wise to keep filming.

In this movie, the unexplained filmer is an autistic boy named Riley. The family is on a trip into the mountains, in meth cooking country. The father is an idiot and gets lost, then his GPS sends him in the wrong direction. Of course, he runs out of gas en queue then screams at his kids like a jerk. Suddenly, a stereotypical alien appears and wants to abduct the dad (first using mind-bullets). He does and his kids (one of which has to be a 30 year old playing a 15 year old) run off. They run to some redneck’s house and all hell breaks lose.

The family gets abducted by the alien’s tractor beam, which snaps their body in half and sandwiches it. You’re pretty sure everyone is dead but somehow, when we get to the part with the alien ship, we hear people being tortured by aliens for no reason.

I’ll tell you this – if an alien tried abducting me, they would need to make sure I was completely unconscious because I would fight, bite, claw and attempt to maim them the entire time. It wouldn’t be good. I might also ask them if they could help me cure some stuff that is wrong with me and who knows, I might even send them by a few enemies homes, telling them to abduct those people. That’d be thinking on your feet!

I liked the movie well enough, although it was pretty dumb. If you like alien movies and (somewhat scary) movies, you probably will like this movie. Just don’t go into it expecting it to be intelligent because it isn’t. It is stupid.