People keep bitching all the time about how Cesaro needs to be pushed and how Cesaro is so great. As a wrestler, Cesaro is a solid mechanic. No doubt about it. But he is on the charisma level of a Ringmaster-character, for those of you familiar with Steve Austin’s career. He doesn’t have the charisma – yet, at least.
I’ve watched Cesaro in interviews and he tries to be “cool” and “witty” when he probably shouldn’t at all. The reason being that he comes across like a total boob when he does it.
You’ll see what I’m talking about there. He created several awkward moments. Also, notice how ugly Summer Rae and Renee looked there. Renee even had gum in her mouth. Total unprofessional.
Cesaro, however, is as good as a Stone Cold or a Steven Regal in the ring. Fact is, he has it in that regard. He just doesn’t have a character that is interesting. You can only be Mr. Cool or the Rebel so many times. Cena and Punk cornered that market for this gen. Austin and Rock did last gen. Know what Cesaro needs to get over with the crowd?
A gimmick.
The Swiss Superman isn’t a gimmick. That’s a boring name. You lost me at Swiss. I’ve got a few ideas that could help him.
GARBAGE MAN
Everyone has a garbage man! Cesaro could put that strength of his to good use and toss some bags into a garbage truck. Maybe even put his opponents into garbage sacks and toss them into a truck when he beats them. Stupid kids would probably recreate that, though, and end up killing someone. By the way, ever notice how it is always black kids that end up killing each other when it gets blamed on wrestling?
A TERRORIST
Terrorists make up 1/3rd of the worlds population! And Cesaro isn’t from America, which qualifies him as suspicious to most Southern wrestling fans immediately. Capitalize on that and suddenly, have him come out and start worshiping the Suicide Bomb God that Terrorists worship. You know, the one that supposedly gives them 23 virgins in exchange for them blowing themselves up with C4. LOL!
“Hey dumbass, go kill yourself and I’ll give you a million bucks!” No one in America would fall for that shit in like the 3rd grade, yet these idiots keep doing it into their adulthood. Anyway, natural villain.
ANTOINK THE CLOWN
Talk about adding some life to a stale individuals career! This one is ripe and ready for the picking! A clown would let Cesaro immediately be memorable to an otherwise apathetic-to-his-existence-audience. No one cares when Cesaro comes out on Superstars now, but if we got a little Carnival music and pop goes the weasel and Cesaro rolled out on a unicycle – bam. Instant money.
Some other possible ideas include…
A MAILMAN.
A SECRET AGENT
A FOREIGN OFFICIAL
The sooner you ditch that awful Euro siren music, the better, too. That is annoying, a rip-off of Owen Hart and undefining. Tells us nothing.
Bring that one back.
Get creative with this guy! He’s a superstar waiting to happen – but he can’t do it without a little help.