Flag Day is stupid.

US_Flag_Day_poster_1917

Why the hell does Flag Day even exist anymore? I would get it in the 1700s, when there was NOTHING TO DO, but holy shit, we’ve got better things to fucking bother with.

To begin with, I feel like ramming a Q Tip in my ear hard enough to kill myself, because my ear is tickling me so bad. No idea why. And totally unrelated to the rest of this.

Flag Day is June 14th. Summer, which is boring, already has the 4th of July but oh no, that’s not enough. Let’s put a piece of shit day on June 14th. Fuck you Flag Day. No one cares.

Know who made Flag Day? Woodrow Wilson, or as I call him, Old Shit Grin.

600full-woodrow-wilson
No one say anything funny, Woodrow is coming.

For you morons out there, he was President of the United States in the early 1900s…so the holi16day doesn’t even have but about 100 years of lame history! It started in 1914. And it should have ended then too but it didn’t.

Some Presidents will proclaim, foolishly, that Americans should fly the flag all WEEK during Flag Day, uh, week. That’s stupid and you know that’s done just to sell some flag made out of Asia.

american-flag-made-in-china
The Hongs probably found a way to include lead in this, too.

I say we get rid of Flag Day. Screw the 4 places that actually celebrate it with a parade or fair. Combine it into the 4th of July to form a new holiday. We will call it Independence Day. Or Super Independence Day. That’ll do it.

 

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