The quickest way for a man to come across as a complete fucking retard in 2015 is to grow a beard.

I wish I understood why, but conservative religious males seem to idolize the Duck Dynasty morons. They’re fucking stupid. They believe in a blood-sacrifice god, worshipping him much less. Think about that for a second. They promote discrimination and in turn, hateful ideals. And why? Because they shoot ducks? Wow, coward, great job. You used 21st century technology to blow a harmless animal apart. I heard they prayed on the fucking show too, but I’ve never watched it. They should eat every duck they shoot – the only way I’m cool with hunting.

Well, I think these morons are the main reason why stupid beards are catching on. As soon as you see that big ass beard, the bet should be on them being a Christian and a fan of Dick DieNasty. In other words, two signs of stupid.

Beards are nasty. If you have a short one, and keep it clean, that is one thing. Long ones not only look nasty, they are nasty. There is no way that thing is cleaned properly when most of the morons carrying it around look lucky to have a bath once a month.

I don’t know how people can’t feel stupid walking around with a long beard. You look like a homeless man dude. Clippers exist. Use them.